Actual Conversation: I Live In A Sitcom

Steve Sr: DARNELL!!!

Me: Actually, my name is Danielle. You’ve only known me for almost 16 years, and I only LIVE with you, in your freaking HOUSE, so I can understand where there is some confusion. But yeah, DANIELLE. That is my name. It’s not new.

Steve Sr: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO THIS MACHINE?!?!?!

Me: Gosh, I dunno. Maybe I spent several hours fixing all the crap you did to your computer during the five minutes you spent on said computer, as I do EVERY DAY, due to the fact that I have been saying for OVER A YEAR that you are KRYPTONITE to electronics, your computer is a piece of crap, and I’m actually not here right now. Please leave a message. PLEASE.

Steve Sr: DARNELL!!! WHY IS THIS NOT WORKING!?!?!?! *click click click clickclickclickclick!!!!!!!!!!!*

Me: Frantic clicking does not help.

Steve Sr: CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK!!!!!

Me: Please, Death. Take me now. And for the record, my name is DANIELLE. *I now huddle under the blanket, for I AM NOT HERE RIGHT NOW. *SOB* LEAVE A MESSAGE AND SEND TECH SUPPORT*

Steve Sr: DARNELL! DAMMIT!!!

Me: *cowering under blanket* Not here not here not here. *weeps*


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