But, you see, I don’t have a job right now. I’m on a “sabbatical.” Or a “medical leave.” Or, “batshit crazy timez.” So I have a lot of free time. A LOT of free time. So I thought well, I’ll try another one of the patterns. I have plenty of socks, as they are only a dollar at Walmart, so…Why not? And I did, and it was good.
So what’s the problem that is now destroying my life? I’ll tell you. Behold!
The first step is admitting you have a problem, and that you are powerless over your addiction. So…Hi. My name is Miss Banshee, and I am addicted to making sock monsters. My house is full of ’em. My couch is covered in sock bits and thread. The cats scurry off with mouthfuls of yarn and stuffing. It’s an arts and crafts crack house. And I can’t stop. Is there a 12 step program for this? A Big Book for sewing addiction? Because I clearly need help.
So…anyone want a sock monster? They’re looking for good homes, and if I don’t get them out of my house, they’re just going to keep harassing me to make them new friends. Halp.