So I went and got tagged by that fab diva Erin at Mama Said No, and I guess that it says somewhere in the Blogger Manifesto Signed in Blood that I must now fill this out. So be it! For when Erin says "Jump, monkey!" I say "Don’t you see I’m wearing platforms? I will fall down, silly. But…Okay!"
Six Unspectacular Quirks About Myself. Gosh, this should be utterly THRILLING. And UNspectacular? Way to aim high, meme.
1. Link the person who tagged you (Done! See above, re: Fab Diva)
2. Mention the rules on your blog. (Being done RIGHT NOW IN REAL TIME!)
3. Tell about six unspectacular quirks you possess. (Oy.)
4. Tag six following bloggers by linking them. (Oh shit, I hate that part.)
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they have been tagged.(That’s an excellent way to get punched in the neck, methinks.)
Okay, let’s go spelunking into my unspectacular neuroses!
- Unless I am actually utilizing the shower, the curtain MUST be open. Wide open. If I’m at your house? I’m checking behind that curtain if you are foolish (FOOLISH!) enough to have it closed. Why? Because that’s where the serial killers hide, dummy.
- I am constantly narrating my life in my head. This is where most of my blog entries come from. There is an ENDLESS monologue going on in the ol’ cerebral cortex. Luckily it has yet to become a DIALOGUE, and that’s a good thing, because I do not need any new people in my brain, and paranoid schizophrenia is not on my docket at the moment, thank you very much. (No, thank YOU, Banshee!) Hey, shut up. (That’s not very nice.) Oh, sorry-OH CRAP!!!!
- If I am watching television, I’m on the computer. If I’m on the computer, I am watching television. I am also usually knitting/crocheting/sewing. I’d be smoking and drinking coffee too, if I had more arms.
- Whenever I go through a yellow light, I give it the two-finger salute. Whenever I pass a car with one headlight, I tap the ceiling of the car. Whenever I pass an ambulance or a low-flying plane, I make the sign of the cross, even though I am not religious in the SLIGHTEST. I cannot stop doing these motions, even if I try.
- I am completely obsessed with my friends’ Facebook statuses. It makes me feel like they’re closer to me. And that gives me a warm fuzzy.
- I call the cats my "beebs," which is a bastardization of "babies." And I don’t just say "beebs," I drag it out in a weird gutteral, crowing sound that petrifies them. "MY BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBS!!!!!"
God, that’s not even scratching the surface. What about how I talk through making any kind of food like I’m hosting a cooking show? Or how I can never have a foot hanging over the side of the bed? You know, because of the crabs and lobsters that will eat them? And SPEAKING OF THAT, how about my terror of nature-made swimming environments??? Ocean beasts that eat my feet? I do not think so. Ditto lakes and rivers. They’re SLIMY. And speaking of THAT, what of my phobia of underwater photography? Where on this six-part list does THAT go, I ask you???
Wow, okay. Let’s move on to the tagging.
Tagging! I HATE tagging! I feel like I’m sending off a chain letter for all my friends to throw away, cursing my name! Sob! Okay, I’m holding my breath, closing my eyes, and…tagging. GO!
I can’t do it. I can’t tag people. I feel like a shmoe. And yet I was absolutely DELIGHTED to be tagged myself! So special I felt, really I did, Erin! Oh god, what the hell is wrong with me…
So instead of tagging, I’ma just gonna tell all y’all to go check out Mama Said No. Because it is awesome, and Erin is vair, vair pretty.
So what have we learned today? Aren’t my quirks…Quirky? And…Unspectacular? Hey, why are you backing away? And what’s with the nervous smiles? Hey, COME BACK, I HAVE MORE TO OVERSHARE!!!