Players: Our Heroine; Aw, An Old Man
Our Heroine is perched upon her smoking chair, still clad in her pink plaid jimjams (writers get to do this, kids! Keep that in mind when you’re struggling with math!) and Aw, An Old Man lumbers in from the parking lot. He is wearing khaki pants hitched to his copious man-boobs, and a stained white t-shirt.
Everything he says in this interchange is unbearably cheerful. Jovial, even.
Aw, An Old Man: JANTELLE!
Our Heroine: Hi! How are you today?
A,AOM: Did you see the ambulance?
OH: Nope! What happened? Are you okay?
A,AOM: Oh, me, I’m fine. Not my time yet, I guess.
OH: I…guess not! Good? For You?
A,AOM: Yep! Did you know there’s a lady down the way who’s 93 years old?
OH: No, no I did not.
A,AOM: Well, she might be dead now. That’s why the ambulance was here!
OH: Oh…that’s terrible! Do you know what happened?
A,AOM: When your time’s up, your time’s up, I guess. You know, my wife died last year.
OH: I did know that. I’m so sorry.
A,AOM:Well, I’ll see her soon. She’s up there, not letting me see her yet. But she will!
OH: (frantically trying to think of the right response) Yeah…Um, when it’s your time, you guys will be together again! It’ll be…awesome!
(Aw, An Old Man then proceeds to tell his entire history with his late wife, which, although very sweet, Our Heroine has heard at least eleven times previously)
A,AOM: That’s right! Ha ha ha! Anyway, that lady, she’s 93! Older than me! So I guess she’s probably dead now.
OH: May…be? That would be…a shame?
A,AOM: Weeeeeell, when your ticket comes up, you gotta go! Okay, Jantelle, nice talking to you! Bye!
OH: Nice…talking to you too…?
Aw, An Old Man lumbers back to his apartment, leaving Our Heroine very befuddled, yet hopeful that when she is as very, very, very old as her neighbor, she will be as gleeful about death as he is.