NaBloPoMo: Scenes From A Weekend

So I wanted to write more about my weekend, but I was so insanely tired last night that my brain was all "Glaaaaaarrrrggghhhhh pretty vampires whee, glitter! Zzzzzzzzzzz." And no one wanted that. So now, I present to you: Scenes from my weekend.

Scene One: Friday night dinner with KD:

KD: So…what it comes down to is that you try to help people…
Miss Banshee: Aaaaaaand then you clean up their crime scenes.
KD: Yeah, pretty much.
Miss Banshee: We're like a TEAM!

Scene Two: Saturday afternoon, waiting for LaRoux:

TEXT FROM LAROUX: Be there at 4:30! Yay vampires!!!
TWITTER FROM LAROUX (five minutes later): Ah, GWB, we meet again.
Miss Banshee (to self): Child's only at the bridge? Biz is delusional. No way she's getting here at 4:30. Also, if she's texting and Twittering while driving, there will be beatings galore. 
TEXT FROM LAROUX: Um, more like 5:00. 
Miss Banshee: I'm changing back into my pajamas. Good lord, the beatings. 

Scene Three: Movie Theater, 1 hour before showtime:

Miss Banshee: Wow, are we early.
LaRoux: POPCORN. DIET COKE.
Miss Banshee: Lead the way, sistah.
(At concession stand, slightly greasy movie buff and slightly unhinged girl behind counter)
LaRoux: The "neighbor" combo, please!
Miss Banshee: Because we're neighbors.
(LaRoux and Banshee cackle maniacally) 
Movie Buff: (sad, yet hopeful glance) So…what are you seeing?
LaRoux: Oh, "Twilight"
Miss Banshee: Of course.
Movie Buff: (morose, tragic sigh.)
Slightly Unhinged Girl: OH YOU'LL LOVE IT DON'T LISTEN TO HIM OOOOOH!!! (runs into theater to watch the end of the last showing.)
Movie Buff: I want to kill myself.

Scene 4: In theater, as it fills with teenage girls.

(Miss Banshee and LaRoux text Twitter and Facebook frantically, as they are officially 13 years old today.) 

Scene 5: In theater, gaggle of teenage girls hover in aisle. A representitive approaches.

Representative: Um, can you guys move down, like, one seat? Or is that totally not happening?
LaRoux: Just for "is that totally not happening?" We will gladly move.
Miss Banshee: There's just one tiny problem.
LaRoux: Yeah, be careful, I just spilled my giant bucket of soda all over the land.
Miss Banshee: ALL OVER THE LAND.
LaRoux: Yeah. We're the grownups here today!

Scene 6: During the movie:

Miss Banshee (whispering): Jacob is going to be SO HOT when he grows up.
LaRoux (whispering): Oh hell yeah.
Miss Banshee: We were seniors in high school when he was born.
LaRoux: Hush up and look at the pretty.

Scene 7: Bella and Edward FINALLY kiss. Teenage girls go berserk.

Miss Banshee: You know, in Mormon language? That's third base.
LaRoux: At least.

(A VOICE FROM BEYOND THUNDERS. IT'S LAROUX, READING THIS RIGHT NOW FROM BOSTON.)

LaRoux: LIAR.
Miss Banshee: What?
LaRoux: LIAR. You did not say "third base." Tell the internet people what you said.
Miss Banshee: But…but my mom reads this.
LaRoux: Lying makes the baby Jeebus cry, dude. And the Mormons wouldn't appreciate that.
Miss Banshee: And the Mormons would appreciate that I said "Kissing is finger banging in Mormon?" They'd appreciate THAT? 
LaRoux: I know your Catholic mom will. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!
Miss Banshee: DAMMIT. 

Holy shit, this post is getting long. So the story of the Drama at the Diner and How Two People Can Not Move On A Sunday will have to wait. Kisses!

002
Stewie doesn't approve of da term "finger banging." Stewie SHOCKED.

Comments

NaBloPoMo: Scenes From A Weekend — 5 Comments

  1. You forgot my favorite part of our row mates and the kissing scene.
    When 13 yo start to squeal they respond promptly with a “REALLY?!” I could hear the eye roll.
    Hi Mom!

  2. AND in my defense I left Long Island before 3:30 I should have been there at 4:30 but there was Starbucks and CVS that called to me before I got on the L.I.E
    Did I mention that I had a triple latte on my way, lol
    Mom, I never text while I drive NEVER!

  3. “Finger-bang” is one of my favoritest sexual terms ever.
    I actually have an Ex whom my best friend and I determined if he had a Native American name it would be: “Finger-bangs Like the Wind.” (We give bizarre Native American Names to exes, we can’t help it, one is also known as “Tounge Like a Sixth Grader” and another still is “He Who Really Just Wants to Fuck Little Boys.” We are mean)

  4. 1 – Stewie probably thinks it is a type Little Debbie snack cake. Don’t even pretend he knows what that means.
    2 – I know exactly how that ‘movie buff’ kid feels.

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