We Needses The Precious Audiobookies!

Question: Do you like audiobooks? I do. I love them. You see, I get panic attacks at night. Eh, it happens. And a lovely way to avoid them is to listen to my iPod as I'm lying in bed. Funny things then happen. Here is a recreation of a common occurrence:

*hop into bed*

Me: Well, this should be interesting.

*affixes headphones, begins "Kitchen Confidential" by Anthony Bourdain. Get up. Check thermostat, check locks on doors, go to bathroom, settle back into bed.*

Me: Okay, all set.

*get up. Check to make sure coffee pot is unplugged. Check locks. Check thermostat. Hop back into bed, fling comforter over self. Embrace body pillow like a rhesus monkey. Settle in with Bourdain*

Me: I can't breathe. I CAN'T BREATHE.

*get up. Tony is chattering away in ears. Open window. Shiver. Shiver. Hop back in bed, turn self to face window. Cling to body pillow. Settle in to Tony's dulcet tones. Fall asleep. Half an hour later, begin to wake up.*

Me: Someone is talking to me. Ooooh, Tony. Get in bed, it's cold in here.

*cling to body pillow, my constant (and only) companion in bed.*

Me: Mmm, Tony.

*fall asleep. Half an hour later:*


*realize iPod is still playing. Chuck onto nightstand, apologize to Bourdain, then chide him for being such a tease. Fall asleep, dreams of working the line in a busy restaurant dancing in my head. Fall asleep.*

See! How relaxing! This is the only way I can fall asleep. I've moved on from Tony to Harry Potter, with much less cuddling and more imagining spells. I had a library FAIL today in trying to get "Deathly Hallows" on audio before the movie comes out IN JULY, YOU HATEFUL THINGS.

Not that I burn audiobooks onto my iPod from the library. That would be immoral and cheating. I love you, library!!! (Oops, outed myself there. Ah well. MOVING ON.)

SO. Do you have any suggestions as to audiobooks? I like fantasy (not science fiction. I WAS PROMISED NO SCIENCE OR MATH) Young adult fiction (shut up) and biographies, preferably by foul-mouthed ex-punk chefs who I bet are very naughty, very naughty indeed. Mmm, Bourdain.

But I ramble. Gimme your favorite books (that I can find on audio, natch) and I'll give you big sloppy kisses. I promise I won't be terribly dishonest and burn them to my iPod. Seriously. Really. Um, you know when I'm lying like a big lying thing who lies, don't you. I NEVER SAID I WAS PERFECT.

Anyhoodle, I need something to keep me occupied for the long trip to Vegas, since I'm not allowed to drink myself to oblivion or take Xanax. Or both. Drat.

Oh, you didn't know I'm going to Vegas? Well, you'll have to wait. OOPS, I'VE SAID TOO MUCH.




We Needses The Precious Audiobookies! — 9 Comments

  1. I have heard good things about the Harry Dresden series by Jim Butcher. It’s read by James Marsters (who is one of those ppl who could read me the dictionary), who was Spike on Buffy. It’s adult fantasy, so it might encourage more bed pillow clutching.
    BTW: I also love Anthony Bourdain. Too bad there isn’t an audio book for him reading his book about Typhoid Mary, cos I bet with his sense of snark it would be wholly entertaining!

  2. First it was Craig Fergusen, and now I have to share my Anthony with you, too?!
    My library has a new feature that allows us to check out audio books via computer, but so far, the good selections are all “checked out” or there’s nothing there I want to read. I’m doing zombie books now. Probably not conducive to great sleeping!

  3. As a lover of young adult and fantasy… Will(not)grow up one day.. Anyway! The excellence!!
    Gemma Doyle Trilogy – Libba Bray (in order)
    A Great and Terrible Beauty
    Rebel Angels
    The Sweet Far Thing
    The Abhorsen Trilogy – Garth Nix
    Abhorsen (Nix is awesome and has many others)
    His Dark Materials – Phillip Pullman
    The Golden Compass
    The Subtle Knife
    The Amber Spyglass
    Hmm, I’m sensing a pattern here..
    Also! The stuff by Neil Gaiman, execpt the graphic novels, can’t listen to those.
    The Graveyard Book (New! Almost done!)
    American Gods
    Anansi Boys
    I’ll go lurk again.. Enjoy!

  4. I have to agree with Katie on both the Abhorsen trilogy (read by Tim Curry, which just makes it more awesome) as well as the Gemma Doyle books. Loved those too.
    I would suggest the Uglies trilogy by Scott Westerfeld. I’ve listened to them twice, they’re great. (there’s actually a fourth book too, but not about the original character)
    I listen to a lot of stuff while sewing. I saw Monkey recommend David Sedaris above. I haven’t heard his books, but another great audio link is to thisamericanlife.org
    They are hour long radio shows about every subject you can think of and David Sedaris is on it once in a while. They have about 6 or more years of shows on their site that you can listen to for free.
    Sorry for the long comment! Happy listening : )

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