Your Post is Somewhere in the Internet

this one's for Captain Awesome

Hey! Do you like games? I like games, but only if I win, but that's neither here nor there. Today I am going to share a game with you that was created by two friends from college. One of those people is Captain Awesome, who we know from the Symphony incident (by the by, I did NOT embarrass myself, until the end of the night, when I was driving Capt. A to the train, and my feet hurt SO BAD from my high heels that I switched to my pair of the Shoes of Shame, and Capt. A PALED and TURNED AWAY IN DISGUST and it's only because I introduced him to the lovely part of NJ that he even talks to me anymore, so deep was his horror at the Shoes of Shame.)

I deserved it, mind you.

ANYWAY! Capt. A and MOD "played" this game back in college, but it's less a game than it is a torture session. But it's funny anyway, so you should play it. Here are the rules, which may not be entirely accurate to the original game, but are as I remember them.

  • You must live with someone, or have unlimited access to their living space. I suggest making extra keys of your friends' houses so you can break in at any time.
  • You must take the game EXTREMELY SERIOUSLY. No one is nice in The Game.
  • No personal property should be damaged in ANY WAY during the game. That is simply not nice.
  • The later at night or earlier in the morning the game is played the better. This increases the frustration level.

Okay, got it? SO. What you do is:

  •  enter the living space of your friend when he or she is out.
  • Steal an item from the living space. Bonus points for something that person values, but nothing that can't be replaced if it accidentally got broken, or something vital, like, say, MEDICATION. That would not be nice.
  • Hide the item. The more obvious the place (acoustic tiles are a good spot) the better, but make sure it's a place they would never look.
  • Leave a note in the item's place. A ransom or clue will do nicely.

The note is the beauty of the game. Brevity is the soul of wit, so something like "Your CD collection is somewhere in (city you live in)" will do nicely. The following conversation will ensue.

"Is my CD collection in this room?"
"Is it somewhere in this building?"
"That is too broad a question. You fail."

You should walk away from the conversation at this point. While you are being asked the increasingly frustrated questions, do not make eye contact. Be as blase as possible. The questions will become more desperate and therefore funny as time goes by.

"Is it in the fourth floor washing machine?"
"Is it in the women's bathroom at Deli Haus?"

As the person begins to miss the item more and more, he or she will start pleading friends for help. Capt. A once knocked on my door at 3 AM after exhausting all options re: his CDs.

If the person asks the correct question, or surrenders, the item must be returned. Whether or not you actually tell the person where you hid it is up to you.

See? FUN! Bonus points if you make the victim other player cry.

Enjoy yourselves, and remember, your extra set of sheets is somewhere in the Tri-State area.



Your Post is Somewhere in the Internet — 3 Comments

  1. Flawlessly remembered. Another fun game is “Leave a Carefully Constructed Effigy of your Roommate in his Bed with a Skull for a Head and Steal All the Lightbulbs Except for one Green Spotlight While Looping a Marilyn Manson Hidden Track on a Hidden CD Player” The rules are in the title.
    PS.Thank you for saving me from boredom at work.
    PPS. There’s nothing wrong with your shoes of shame. I wear Kung Fu shoes around the house and occasionally to nearby establishments.

  2. PLEASE tell me you did this at Ashford… because they would not even try. you KNOW it is true!!
    I am also glad I never lived with you, evil evil girl.

  3. i have always liked this game myself. its super-extra-amazing fun if you play with a clean-frwak roommate who is little, if at all, amused by your antics. i used to LOVE hiding all 94,327 pairs of my roommate’s shoes aroudn the apartment in obvious places. wanna know some fun variations on the game? making random, pointlessly widespread changes to the apartment such as leaving open every door, closet, cabinet, etc. OR unplugging everysingle appliance they could even consider using. are they being haunted by a poltergeist? are they suffering from some rare form of OCD in conjunction with temporary amnesia? who knows! not them, thats for sure.

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