Jillian Michaels: We Hateses Her

Zzzzzzzz…Oh Jillian, here I lay on the floor, surely perishing, for you have ruined me for another day. So tired…So so tired…Mercy, Jillian, MERCY zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

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HEY!!! HEY LAZY!!!!

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I'm not lazy, Jillian! Why are you so mean to me? 

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LAZY! Look what I found in the KITCHEN, LAZY LAZY LOSER!

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But…But Jillian, it's not even OPEN! See, the plastic seal is still on it! I bought it, but you've made me feel too guilty to EAT it! I've been good, Jillian, good for YOU! Please stop yelling at me, please?

I'M NOT DONE YET! I ALSO FOUND THESE!!!

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But THOSE aren't open EITHER!!! You've ruined snacking for me, Jillian! RUINED IT! Even my favorite stinky pretzel bits! None of the junk food is OPEN! It just sadly waits in the kitchen, hoping and praying that someday I'll open its deliciousness, but NO. I go and INSULT them with TOFU AGAIN!

Now who's yelling, missy? I do NOT kick your ass every day for you to have that CRAP in the house. Just wait, today it'll be a nibble of a stinky pretzel bit, tomorrow a spoonful of ice cream, and before you know it…

No…No, Jillian, please…Please don't even say it, It hurts too much, it hurts more than bicep curl lunges, please don't, I'm begging you…

Next thing you know, you'll be buying THESE again!!!!

6a00e55396b6858833010534aee363970b-800wi The…The preeeecious…WE NEEDSES THE PRECIOUS!!! Jillian, that was below the belt. That was just NOT FAIR, showing me the precious. We hateses you! I can't believe you even dug up that picture! I haven't bought the precious in MONTHS!

Tough love, baby, tough love. Hey, HEY! What are you doing!?!?!

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Naptime, you hateful bitch. I did your 20 minutes of hell, I went another day without the precious, and NOW IT IS NAPTIME, HAAHA. You can't stop me! YOU LIVE IN A DVD! You are NOT EVEN REAL!

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Look at these abs, Lazy! Don't you want this? Don't you want to be JUST LIKE JILLIAN!?!?

Sorry, didn't hear you. You horrid bitch. Aaaaaaah. Zzz.

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