The Horror! THA HARRAH!!!

Let's talk about scary things, shall we? Not real life scary things, like when Stewie poops in the bathtub, or that time I found a cricket in my bed when I was 10 years old, but scary MOVIES. I love scary movies. Love em! I love the cheesy ones, the really scary ones, the splatter-fests…I'm not a huge fan of the so-called 'splatter-p0rn ones, because they usually don't even try to have any kind of storyline, much less a good one, but I do appreciate the special effects in them. So yeah, horror movies? Thumbs up.

A quick aside: I dabbled in FX makeup back in the day, and I once constructed a slashed throat on myself for a photo contest (I won) held by a website. I deadened my face, and my friend wrapped me in plastic, and covered me in fake blood, with the prosthetic gash across my neck. It was a GREAT picture. (I still have it, but it made my mom cry, so I won't post it. Sorry!) Anyway, we brought the film to the developing place across the street from our dorm and basically forgot about it for a day. I picked it up the next day, and the man running the joint paled when he saw me and shrieked:

"YOU'RE THE DEAD GIRL!!! I ALMOST CALLED THE COPS!!!! GET OUT OF HERE!!!"

He threw the pictures at me, I tossed the money to him, and never went in the store again.

Like I said, it was a great makeup job, if I do say so myself.

Anyhoodle, as much as I love tha harrah, there is one thing I CANNOT ABIDE. That is the "Ghost Car" phenomenon. I won't even link it, because I don't want to give anyone a fatal STROKE or cause them to have to go to the LUNATIC ASYLUM because it is so damn scary. For the two people in the world who don't know what this is, it's a website or YouTube video that says "Look closely, try to see what's wrong with the picture. Look cloooooooosely." Then? BAM! SCREEEEEEEEEAM!!! Scary face JUMPS out of the screen, there's a HUGE scream, and you have a heart attack and die. That's FUN!

No. No it is not.

I am…let's say…emotionally fragile. Yeah, that's it. Emotionally fragile. And "JUMP OUT SCARY AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!" things send me ROCKETING out of my seat and then my heart explodes. Not a fan. Which is a shame, cause I LOVE horror movies. Just not the jumpy outtie ones. And THAT is why I was a total fool for "The Blair Witch Project" because I spent the whole movie WAITING for the jumpy outtie part, and it NEVER CAME! My blood pressure! Ack, it was GREAT!

So what the hell is my point? My POINT is that today, I was tooling around on IMDB, and saw that there was a website for the new horror movie "The Unborn." Now, this looks like the super-creepy kind of horror movie I love, and I used to know someone who is in it, and there's a super scary kid in it, so I hopped over to the website.

AND IT WAS THE SCARY JUMPY OUTTIE THING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Man, that was "glad I wore my brown pants" kind of scary as hell. Can't wait to see that movie.

BOO!

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Comments

The Horror! THA HARRAH!!! — 2 Comments

  1. I F@%&+*# hate those jump out face thingies!!!! Last time I fell for it I screamed so loud the neighbors came over and it took a good 20 minutes for me to stop crying and calm down…Screw that!!!! YOu are not alone in being freaked out by those,no siree!!!.Hubby wont be pulling that on this girl anymore as I was so mad I didnt talk to him for 2 days…

  2. All I can think of when I see the trailers for that movie are the Tweens SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS IN FEAR at it when it was on before Twilight.
    It’s a shame it will be a big bag of crap.
    You I love them too, but I am not a fan of this torture genre, Hostel and such. BLECH!

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