The Top 20 Hard Rock Songs, The Top 20 Miss Banshee Comments

So a few weeks ago, VH1 was playing the "Top 20 Hard Rock Songs of All Time" and as Sweetney and I were madly Twittering the whole time, I was actually taking NOTES. Because I am a NERD. What can I say? I love hard rock, and everyone knows I have OPINIONS. Opinions I like to SHARE.

So here we go: The Top 20 Hard Rock Songs, according to VH1, with commentary by yours truly.

20. Bon Jovi: You Give Love A Bad Name: I am from Jersey, and it is REQUIRED to love Bon Jovi, dammit. Something they put in the water. Forget the mullets, dude. It's ol' Jon's PANTS that were extraordinary. I love that Jersey radio plays this song, like, every day. Ha! Love it.

19. Rush: Tom Sawyer: I cannot abide Geddy Lee's voice. Can't abide it. It makes my teeth hurt. Now, before I am killed by Rush fans, I KNOW they are amazing musicians, okay? I get it. But that doesn't change the fact that Geddy's voice makes me want to lobotomize myself.

18. Scorpions: Rock You Like a Hurricane: Another one they play on my radio station all the time. I forgot about this video! With the moving cage? Very metal, except the cage is obviously made of Nerf.

17. Twisted Sister: I Wanna Rock: Hey, Dee Snider! I do too! But this song is the epitome of cheese. Holy crap, they're touring again? Don't break a hip, dude.  Props to Dee for speaking out against the PMRC though.

16. KISS: I Wanna Rock and Roll All Night: Hee. Heeeeeeeheehee. I remember the "KISS house in my grandma's neighborhood that was a squat for metalheads. I was not allowed near that house.

15. Motley Crue: Dr. Feelgood: This song is about DRUGS? A Motley Crue song about DRUGS?!?!? Well, knock me over with the proverbial feather.

14. Iron Maiden: Run To The Hills: ANOTHER one on endless repeat in NJ. I dare you not to howl "RUN TOOOOO THAAAA HIIIIIIILLS!!!!" when you hear it, though.

13. Def Leppard: Photograph: Hmm. Photograph? Not "Pour Some Sugar on Me?" I can muse over this because you KNOW I had the cassette. And I wanted pirhana pants SO BAD. Ahem. Don't you judge me!

12. Judas Priest: Breakin' The Law: I cannot listen to this song without thinking of Beavis and Butthead. And I LOVE that no one in the metal community cared that Rob Halford is gay. Metal is for everyone, dammit!

11. Deep Purple: Smoke On The Water: This song is about a famous Frank Zappa concert, so it can do no wrong in my book. Holy shit, they've been around for FIVE DECADES??? Rock really IS immortal!

10. Motorhead: The Ace of Spades: True story – in college, whenever there was a lull in conversation, my friend Gorman would say "What's Lemmy doing right now?" The answer is either "being awesome," or "kicking someone's ass."

9. Van Halen: Running With the Devil: Wow, this live show they're playing was NOT the right choice to showcase this song. Diamond Dave sounds like he just snorted fifteen bottles of rum. Which, you know, is always a possibility.

8. Aerosmith: Walk This Way: ICON. Everyone loves this song, right? RIGHT? I actually prefer the version with RUN-DMC, but your milage may vary. You'd be wrong, though.

7. Nirvana: Smells Like Teen Spirit: I understand why this is a very important and iconic song that started a huge music movement. I do. I get it. But I've never been a Nirvana fan. Feel free to flog me.

6. The Who: Won't Get Fooled Again: I love The Who, and this is an incredible song. The guitar! Roger freaking DALTREY! Incredible, amazing. Yes yes yes.

5. Metallica: Enter Sandman: Well, okay. I see that this is the song that made Metallica "for the masses," but I can name at least 20 better songs by Metallica. No really, I can.

4. Black Sabbath: Paranoid: Well, of course this is in the top 5. Interesting fact: Although Ozzy is absolutely incomprehensible when he speaks, his vocals on stage are exactly the same as they were in the '70s. The man is immortal. I love Grandpa Ozzy.

3. Led Zepplin: Whole Lotta Love: I'm not the most gigantic Zepplin fan, but I have no problem with calling them icons. The top of the icon list, actually. Just…well thank Jeebus it wasn't "Stairway."

2. AC/DC: Back in Black: Okay. I get why this is in the top 5, I disagree with the placement IN the top five. Granted that Brian Johnson was an eerily accurate replacement for Bon Scott, but…Oh hell, I'll say it. AC/DC gives me a headache. Am old.

1. Guns N Roses: Welcome To The Jungle: YES. YES YES YES. I have NO PROBLEM with this being #1. No problem at ALL. This song makes me want to get in a KNIFE FIGHT, and I think that's pretty goddamn metal. YES. Perfect #1.

So there you have it. A look inside my questionable musical tastes, and further proof that I watch waaaaaay too much VH1. What do YOU think? Should there have been different choices? Does my musical taste suck? Hit those comments!

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Comments

The Top 20 Hard Rock Songs, The Top 20 Miss Banshee Comments — 12 Comments

  1. Guns and Roses made me smoke Marboros and drink Jack Daniels
    I can no longer do either one of those things.
    This is one of my favorite VH1 countdowns.
    And of course I totally agree with you on the Rush thing. Only musicians and D&D dorks like Rush.

  2. I can hardly disagree with any part of this post. Little sad that there is no Alice Cooper, but aside from that Rock ON!!
    Also? Aerosmith was my first concert, like, EVAR! And I am totally with ya on the RUN-DMC opinion.

  3. I love the list but what I love most is your oh so delicate green walls and the lovely lamp in the last picture. This is the lamp right below the line “Makes me want to get into a knife fight!!” Metalhead grew up ay??
    (I came over here from Sundry)

  4. Agree about Geddy–I just have to get over it when listening. I used to feel the same way about Robert Plant, actually. My first several times through Led Zeppelin 1 I was thinking that there was no way I could like this band.
    Now they’re a favorite.

  5. Chuck had a hilarious episode that involved “Tom Sawyer” by Rush being neccessary (and the secret key) to unlocking the kill screen on Missle Command. Frakkin’ hilarious episode.
    If it makes you feel better my Sunday cannot start until I have had my fill of Celebreality programming.
    Also I don’t know how Nirvana ended up on a list of hard rock. Alice in Chains, Stone Temple Pilots, Soundgarden, okay, Nirvana? They just don’t seem to fit in my opinion. But that’s me.

  6. 17. Yes! Exactly what you said, but made worse because I live in Canadia, where the CRTC has this rule about Canadian content in the media, so they get played all. the. time. In fact, my radio station is currently doing a Rush giveaway. Gah!
    BlackEyedGurl – I love that ep, even though the music made me twitch.

  7. One Guy made Rush worth listening to for me since I’m a drummer….. Neil Peart…. Hands down.

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