A Typical Evening With The Parents

Scene: Kitchen of Mom and Dad Banshee

Me: I want cake.

Mom Banshee: I've never really been a cake person.

Dad Banshee: That's why we never have cake. No cake for me. Ever.

Mom Banshee: But a whole cake? That would feed 12 people!

Dad Banshee: Eat fast!

Mom Banshee: I make cakes!

Dad Banshee: *mutters* Yeah, GARLIC cake.

Mom Banshee: What the hell did you just say?

Dad Banshee: The last cake you made tasted like garlic.

Mom Banshee: And whose fault was that!

Dad Banshee: Well, how was I supposed to know you were going to make a cake in the pan I made alioli in???

Mom Banshee: How was I supposed to know that you were going to make alioli in the pan I make CAKE in???

Dad Banshee: I didn't taste the garlic. 

Mom Banshee: I did! Brother of Banshee did!

Me: I didn't. Wait, when did that happen?

Mom Banshee: Two years ago on Christmas.

Me: Oh, I ate it. But I was drunk.

Mom and Dad Banshee: Of course you were.

Me: Anyway, for my year soberversary, buster, I get cake.

Dad Banshee: Ooooh, with mocha icing? My mother used to make that.

Me: Yeah! White cake with mocha icing! I've been talking about it on the blog FOREVER!

Dad Banshee: Yeah! Cake! 

Me: The internet wants you to make me a cake, Mom.

Dad Banshee: Yeah, we want cake. But not cake that tastes like garlic.

Me: Yeah, cake that tastes like cake.

Mom Banshee: OH MY GOD, STOP TALKING ABOUT CAKE, OPRAH IS ON!!!! SHUT! UP! BOTH OF YOU JUST SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUP!!!

Oprah: How to have your cake and eat it too…

Dad Banshee and Me: MAAAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHA!!!!! *high five*

Mom Banshee: *flips us both the bird*

005

Give me the cake and no one gets hurt.

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