Common Sense: Come on, Time to work out.
Me: I don't waaaaaaaaaanna!
Common Sense: Chop chop. Jillian will be mad. You don't want to make Jillian mad, do you?
Me: FINE. But I'll have you know that I was going to watch "Meet The Press."
Common Sense: You were going to watch "Meet The Press" for five minutes and then mute it and watch "Mystery Science Theater 3000" clips on YouTube. Stop lying, it makes the baby Jesus cry.
Me: Okay, you've got me there.
*Work out. Collapse on couch. Beg for the sweet rest of death.*
Me: *wheeze. WHEEZE. Gasp gasp gasp.* MEDIC!!!!
Common Sense: You are such a drama queen there are really no words.
Me: I need VH1. For medicinal purposes.
Common Sense: Oh please, PLEASE NO. I'm begging you. Not now. Watch the Wall Street Journal Report! Exercise your mind! Anything but VH1, PLEASE!
Me: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah. "Rock of Love: Whore Bus." THIS is what I'm talking about.
Common Sense: You mean "Tour Bus."
Me: Have you ever SEEN this show? "Whore Bus."
Common Sense: I'm going to read the Times. And do the crossword. WITH A PEN.
Me: We don't get the Times. There's an old US Weekly in the bathroom.
Common Sense: You went to GRAD SCHOOL.
Me: Yep, graduated too!
Common Sense: Yeah, you're welcome for that one.
Me: Aw, look at Bret Michaels' hair plugs.
Common Sense: They're the finest hair extensions Europe has to offer!
Common Sense: DAMMIT!!!!!