Help Me, Monkey


This is my monkey. Monkey? I need some help. Only you can help me, my dear monkey pal.

You see, monkey, I'm having a little problem writing today. Do you know how many blog posts I've written today, monkey? Three. This is number four. And all of them so far have sucked. I'm in a mood, monkey, and I don't know what to do about it.

You're right, monkey. I should give myself a break. I've had a lot of stuff going on lately, and it's too personal to put on the blog, I get it. But I just start writing and all this BLAAAAAAAAAAAH comes out and I can't put it to print, because other people are involved, you know? What am I supposed to do?

I see. So I should just keep writing and see what happens? I don't know, monkey. My heart hurts a lot these days. And I can't go into details about any of it, it just seems wrong. Like I would need releases from people in order to talk about any of it, and well, let's face it, some of them don't even know they're involved in my emotions. THAT would be awkward.

I understand where you're coming from, monkey. I'm in a bad/sad/cranky mood. I'll live through it, like I always do, and I'll soldier on. Do you think the internet people will understand?

You're right, monkey. They always do, that's why they're such rockstars. What would I do without you, my monkey friend? Glad we had this talk. I'll be okay. Just…keep breathing. Everything will sort itself out, one way or another.

You're the best, monkey! Thanks for listening, really. I mean it.



Help Me, Monkey — 8 Comments

  1. Dear Miss Banshee,
    Oh Sweetie, this is when being the awesome blogging queen that you are must blow. I can’t remember how I found you, but I’m so glad that I did. The conversations with the kittehs, Twinkie guy & your dad’s facebook updates made me smile even when I wasn’t sure that the Prozac was going to work. I am so very proud of you as your one-year anniversary of sobriety is coming up–you deserve an excellent cake with mocha frosting AND a French-kiss from Dr. Drew! Hang in there, things will get better– I promise.
    Love and hugs from The Minx

  2. Virtual hugs here for you from a virtual stranger. Of course the blog understands! I read you because I love what you (and Stewie) have to say, even when you feel like you can’t say much.
    Whenever I think of monkeys (which is surprisingly often) I think of the scene in “The Rundown” where The Rock and Stiffler just ate some paralyzing fruit and there are fierce jungle monkeys coming towards them and all The Rock can say is “Unkey!” It nearly made me pee the first time I saw it.
    Then (because I watched both movies for the first time on the same day), I think about the part of “Love, Actually” where Huge Rant is being a better version of Tony Blair and is dancing around 10 Downing Street to The Pointer Sisters, and how the first time I saw that, I laughed so hard I did in fact have to pause the movie so that I could go pee.
    All of which is to say, I am sorry that your heart hurts, but I hope you can still find something that will make you smile, if not laugh.
    Oh, and I tried level one of The 30 Day Shred last night, and Jillian is eeeeevvvvviiiiilllll. Yes.

  3. I have the same problem with a blog I have written. I am now trying to edit it so it is more vague and keep it intersting…not working so well.
    Most of me just wants to post it, and say this is what you get for doing what you did!

  4. Oh honey! I have those same Monkeys (I have a vast stuffed animal monkey collection topped off by a fabulous traditional scok monkey, but I digress)! Monkey listens and knows, Monkey is a good friend.
    I can’t get started writing my blog any more. I tell myself I will write more once it is redesigned, but I am sure I will then find a new excuse not to write…
    I hope things get easier for you. I feel your pain, and if you ever need someone who is completely non-judgemental, and compeltely not involved in any of your personal stuff to vent to, you’ve got my email address. I’m a good listener.
    Also if it makes you feel better I got my hands on the 30 day Shred, Jillian is the monster you said she was and so much more. How sad is it that I couldn’t get through more than 16 minutes of the 20 minute workout on the first try? I felt like my smokers body was going to die right there in my living room & that the cats would resort to eating my eyes. You my dear are far better at the 30DS than I.

  5. Can I please schedule an appointment for a little couch time with the monkey? I’m not even going to check with my insurance carrier to see if mental health is covered because screw it! I need to cover myself in some mental health.
    I also need my hair dyed because I just saw myself in the mirror and OMG…my roots…from across the room…it’s like they’re virtually splitting my head in half….
    Not to make light, sweets…I kinda feel the same way you seem to be. Where’s the ‘well’ in wellbutrin, anyway?

  6. It must be something in the air because I either want to cry or smash somebodys head in right now…Big Hugs for you girl!!!!Keep your chin up and if you want to spill your pretty rockstar guts,go ahead,we are here for you!!

  7. Wow! I thought that I was the only one (or one of an un-balanced few) that felt this way too!! Is it just the way things are in the outside world right now? Because all I want to do is hide out under my soft, warm quilt with my sweet kitteh and some soft, kind, warm people until this all passes.

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