Me: *points at rash* WHAT THE HELL???
Me: HIVES? Why the hell do I have hives?
Cats: Put food in bowl, or you'll REALLY have some stress.
Me: But…But my ear hurts too! And I have a stiff neck, ow! Where the hives are!
Parents: Go to the clinic.
Shrink: Go to the clinic.
Friends: Go to the clinic.
Internet: It's meningitis, encephalitis, the bubonic plague, and scurvy. Make out your will.
Cats: It puts the food in the bowl or else it gets the hose again.
Me: But…But I don't LIKE doctors! Doctors have a way of causing me extreme pain and shoving tubes down my throat and nose and other places, and it's really the cause of a lot of flashbacks and bad bad bad things happen, and *hyperventilates*
Common Sense: Ever consider that your soberversary is coming up, and that also involves the anniversary of the hospital and ICU and the six day coma and the almost dying and stuff? And then going right from there to 30 days in rehab in the Florida swamp and all that? And the flashbacks and the memories and the nightmares? Could that maybe be giving you a little stress?
Me: I guess, I dunno, hadn't really thought about it.
Common Sense: And this big trip you're taking, which means so much to you, and maybe you can't even go, and there's the stress of WHY you might not be able to go, and all that?
Me: I suppose.
Common Sense: And we can't forget about all the Stuff You Can't Talk About On The Internet, right? That causing you a little stress?
Common Sense: Yeah, I can't imagine why you'd feel stressed. Beats me.
Me: I just want a hug.