Vegas: The Airport of Doom Part The Fourth

So after eleventeen million years, we got a plane that worked! Hooray! So I'm sitting with my new friends the 21 year olds, who keep talking about "ooooooooh Vegas, we don't care that we're going to be late, we're just going to buy a HUGE BOTTLE OF BOOZE EACH and drink and drink and drink all day and into the night" and I thought "Oh, how cute."

Because really, remember when you turned 21? Mine was super lame, actually. I spent the entirety of the day and night working at ye olde Shakespeare Festivale, and my darling friend Joose finally physically CARRIED me out of the theater at 2 AM to celebrate, but there's not very much to do at 2 AM, especially drinking wise, so I think we just made out instead.

ANYWAY! So yeah, I'm sitting with my new pals at the new gate waiting for the new plane, and whoa boy, you know what I forgot about 21 year olds? They're LOUD. So loud! And I'm a loud person, hell, I'm from Jersey, but these chicks were looooooud. And cussing! Cussing in front of all these people who were now our new friends at our new home, the airport! I was a little embarrassed. Holy hopping shit, I'm old.

So I got all zen-master on their asses. This is what I said:

"Listen. You're 21. You're getting out of college, the world is your godforsaken oyster. Go DO something. Travel. Move a million times, try out as many new things as you can, but for the love of Merlin's pants, don't get complacent right away. Your 20s are meant to be spent making all your mistakes. Embrace them. Do them. Listen to me, am wise, am ORACLE. I did all those things, and whooooooooooa boy did I make a lot of mistakes, but I don't regret any of them. Trust me, live a little. You'll thank me."

And then I told them to break up with their stupid boyfriends who treat them badly, and that was that.
Man, I wish someone had said that to me when I was 21.

ANYWAY, then my new friends made me laugh my ass off. As the people from OUR NEW PLANE began coming off of OUR NEW PLANE so we could board OUR NEW PLANE, they started greeting them with "Don't you look lovely today?" and "We're so happy to see you!" and "Did you know that there was Senior Citizen Fight Club???" and I loved every second of it.

So then!!!! We got on the plane!!!! We were all so excited there was practically a conga line. And I got a three seater with only one other person, a very cranky lad who groused and grumbled the whole time, but NO MATTER WE'RE ALL BESTIES NOW, so I talked to him even though he didn't want to, because people love that, and then I took a Benedryl and went to sleep.

Total time between waking up and boarding plane? 12 and a half hours.

On to Vegas!!!!



Vegas: The Airport of Doom Part The Fourth — 1 Comment

  1. My 21st birthday ended up being a bit anticlimactic as I was living in Tokyo and the drinking age there is 20. Quel Dommage…but I made sure to catch up on lost time most amply.
    You gave the “girls” (jesus I’m old too that 21 seems “girlish”) sound advice…the same I give all I meet…Do it all while you can…before you’re tied down.

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