I was dared to write about David Bowie's Crotch, so here we go.
Oh! You need to know about me and dares. I? Cannot resist a dare. You challenge me to a dare? I accept blindly. It gets me in a lot of trouble, but come ON! It's a DARE! You're thrown down the gauntlet, you've slapped me with the white glove! I can't resist. Can't do it. SO. In the interest of said dare, and the idea that writing about David Bowie's Crotch will make my stats EXPLODE, here we go.
I would like to thank David Bowie's Crotch for welcoming me into womanhood.
It's true. If you've ever seen "Labyrinth" you know what I'm talking about, right? David Bowie's Crotch should be TOP BILLED in that movie. Don't believe me? WITNESS!
WHOA. What was THAT??? Where was I when my girlparts woke up??? Now before you start getting squicked, this did not happen the FIRST time I saw the movie when I was NINE. But a couple of years later? Holy hopping shit, dudes. I mean, LOOK!
Is that even LEGAL??? It can't be good for his…um…Little Davey, can it? Those are some TIGHT PANTS. This is a CHILDREN'S MOVIE, right?
So anyway, yes. This was the beginning of Miss Banshee's journey into womanhood. Mostly it was confusing and tingly, but so was my first – Oh shit…Hi mom! My first KISS! I meant my first KISS, you FILTHY children. This was also my first realization that I am a SUCKER for boys in eyeliner with glam hair, until I learned later that most of the boys who resemble David Bowie and His Crotch are into OTHER boys who look like David Bowie and have His Crotch.
Especially His Crotch.
So there you have it. Miss Banshee became a woman, and David Bowie's Crotch had done its job.
It's a simple story, but a beautiful one, yes?