Common Sense Has Had Enough

Common Sense: YOU AND ME. We need to have a talk, missy.
Me: Wha? What'd I do now? It wasn't me! I was dead at the time. Brushing my teeth. Eating some cake. It wasn't me!
Common Sense: You know full well it was you. Writing about things that are terribly uncouth.
Me: Hee. Heeheehee. Hey! I never said I was perfect, Miss Thing.
Common Sense: Well, let's review, shall we?
Me: No, let's not. I wasn't there. I was dead at the time. Cleaning the cat box. Washing my hair.
Common Sense: David Bowie's CROTCH?
Me: MAHAHAHAHAHHA! I knew you'd take issue with that. That's why I did it.
Common Sense: And you got dared. Someday your weakness for dares is going to get you in a heap of trouble, young lady.
Me: And you'll be along for the ride.
Common Sense: And I won't even get into the MamaPop article about…about…
Me: Oh, the blow job article? Yeah, that was awesome, right about there.
Common Sense: It was NOT awesome. You should be ashamed of yourself!
Me: Yes, probably, but I'm not. Muahahhaah. Hee. Heehee.
Common Sense: This is a slippery slope you're getting yourself into. Next thing you know, we'll have the police at the door.
Me: What, the decorum police? You worry too much. The popo aren't coming over. Chill, dude! We're fine. The internet loves it! The internet? Loves David Bowie's crotch.
Common Sense: What about your MOM? Your mom reads this, you know.
Me: I'm not at liberty to talk about that.
Common Sense: OH. So you can talk about David Bowie's crotch and the…oral copulation commercial, but you can't discuss your mother dying from the shame? THE SHAME.
Me: You've obviously never met my mother.
Common Sense: Sigh. So what are you going to write about today? Unicorns and glitter? Or something horrifying?
Me: I'm going to make fun of you.
Common Sense: Of course you are. I'll be in the other room, drafting an apology letter to the world.
Me: David Bowie's Crotch.
Common Sense: I hate you.

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