I Have A Cold, And Therefore My Mind Is Wandering To Odd Places

I'm sick. I won't get into specifics, as that is uncouth and a little gross, but suffice to say, I am a bit under the weather. What in the name of pants does that MEAN, anyway? Aren't we ALL under the weather? Unless we are all in an airplane (are you in an airplane? Turn off your electronic devices and put that tray table up, dude! What were you thinking???) we're all under the weather. Dumb phrase.

Clearly, this cold is rotting my brain. What was that paragraph even about?

ANYway. This cold is making me even more clumsy than ever. I already told y'all that I tripped over an imaginary shoe, right? Because I thought it was there, but it was just a spot on my glasses? That was a shining moment. I've also dumped the computer on the floor trying to arrange my couch cushions, and turned the coffee pot on without any water in it. OUTSTANDING!

So yes, my brain is clearly rotting, and I shall be dead soon. Perhaps it's the galloping consumption! Everyone in Victorian books gets the galloping consumption and swoons into the arms of death so dramatically and beautifully, right? I guess that just sounds a lot better than "choked on her own blood and rotted away from tuberculosis" which is what it REALLY was. Did you know that? Well if you didn't, that's one to grow on. No need to thank me, it's a freebie.

While I have been convalescing, the cats have been badder and more evil than ever. When my Boston girls were here the cats were all "we love! We LOVE, and the human LIES all over the internet, lies like the winds and the seas! We are the BEST cats ever, don't believe her for a second!" Well, don't let them fool you, because it is THEY who are chock full of lies and I have proof, in this little scene that happened last night.

LULU: Sleeps on back of chair, snoring with great gusto.
STEWART: Sits on chair, staring daggers at Lulu.
LULU: Wakes up, feeling someone staring at her. Hisses. Ears flatten. Hisses more.
STEWART: Stares.
LULU: Growls, hisses, ears disappear against head.
STEWART: Stares.
LULU: Loses interest, goes back to sleep.
STEWART: Chomps enormous mouthful out of Lulu's ass, eats clump of fur.

This happens eleventeen times a day. And I can never get the damn camera in time. Hateful beasts.

This post makes no sense, I'm sorry. More tomorrow, hopefully with a plot, or at least a THEME, other than "I am rambling."


Cat stock 018


I Have A Cold, And Therefore My Mind Is Wandering To Odd Places — 3 Comments

  1. Uh oh. I hope your Boston friends (namely, ME!) aren’t responsible for your cold. I was at the tail end of it! I couldn’t POSSIBLY have been contagious! Still, I’m sorry just in case.

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