Internet Made The Radio Star

Me: Hey! Guess what!
The Internet: What, foolio?
Me: I was on the radio last night!
The Internet: Lies. Queen of lies. Who would put you on the radio?
Me: Room 704! They put me on the radio!
The Internet: Well, that was a genius move. Did you cuss?
Me: I said "What's up, biiiiiiiitcheeees?"
The Internet: That counts. Honestly, we can't take you anywhere.
Me: Yes you can! And we played "Two Truths and a Lie" and I won my round because no one can believe Keith Richards really grabbed my ass.
The Internet: Your parents must be so proud.
Me: Actually, they are.
The Internet: Apple, Tree, Falling not far from. Got it.
Me: So yeah! The radio!
The Internet: Okay, I'll play along. Why in hell were you on the radio?
Me: Because of Eden Fantasys. (DO NOT CLICK THAT LINK, MOM)
The Internet: Eden…Fantasys?
Me: Your one stop shopping for all your Happy Alone Time Grown Up Apparatus!
The Internet: You make less and less sense the more you talk.
Me: Eden Fantasys was having an online Happy Alone Time Grown Up Apparatus party, and Room 704 was part of it, and put me on their radio show! That's the whole story!
The Internet: Oh. God. You talked about Happy Alone Time Grown Up Apparatus ON THE RADIO?!?!!?
Me: May…be?
The Internet: You really are as dumb as you look. Okay, what mortifying stuff did you say, and remember, we're delicate.
Me: I didn't say ANYTHING mortifying. I was genial and clever.
The Internet: Now we KNOW you're lying.
Me: Okay, I didn't say anything mortifying and I didn't talk about cake or falling down or the cats.
The Internet: Thank Jeebus for small favors.
Me: I didn't win any Happy Alone Time Grown up Apparatus. No prizes for me.
The Internet: Probably for the best. You'd electrocute yourself or poke an eye out.
Me: Dirty! You're dirty, internet.
The Internet: That's not what we meant! YOU'RE the dirty one!
Me: Dirty birdies.

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Comments

Internet Made The Radio Star — 4 Comments

  1. Heehee! I probably shouldn’t look at that link while I’m at work, huh?
    That Internet…always dirty. I had another porn-related scare this morning at work where an unidentified link got me nailed by the “DO NOT GO THERE FOR FEAR OF TITTILATION!!!!” warning from our internet filter.
    *phew* Saved from almost certain temptation. *anticipates going home*

  2. The Internet made me the dirty birdie I am. I totally blame the Internet. I can’t be mad at the Internet, though, because it gives me wonderful discounts on what would cost me four times as much were I go to into the ‘lingerie’ stores for my goods and wares!

  3. When you said you were “genial and clever” I kept reading Genital and Clever. Tomorrow when I go to work I am going to be Genital and Clever…I can’t wait!

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