I've gotten a lot of comments and emails stating "What do you DO, woman, when you're not blogging? What is your profession? Your occupation? WHAT IS YOUR JOB, GIRL??? Well. You know what the rule is, right?
THE FIRST RULE OF BLOGGING CLUB IS THAT YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT YOUR JOB.
The truth is that I haven't worked in a while. Between the booze, the rehab, the bipolar, all that wicked fun stuff, I've been on hiatus from working for quite some time. BUT! I can talk about jobs I HAVE had in the past, right? Right. So here goes.
- volunteer at a hospital
- Friendly's waitress (My name is Miss Banshee and I'M fast and friendly! Exactly what every 16 year old wants on a nametag, I assure you.
- Retail, retail retail
- Security guard/desk clerk at my dorm (hilarious)
- Assistant to the Artistic Director of a theater
- Spotlight operator
- Casting assistant
- Assistant to the Director on many many plays
- Jack of all trades (theater again)
- Box office drone
- Travel coordinator
- Receptionist at a video production studio
OH WAIT. I'm getting tired, and we're still talking about jobs I had ten years ago. Let me tell you about the video production company. This was a studio that specialized in h3ntai. I'm using net-speak because h3ntai is Japanese…well…Adult entertainment. If you get my drift. Movies solely for adults? Got it? Good. And they're also cartoons. Adult cartoons. OKAY YOU GET IT.
So! My job was standard receptionist work, EXCEPT! There was editing going on all the time, WITH SOUND. So this is what I would hear as I was trying to, let's say, order tapes.
Me: Hi! I'd like to order some VHS tapes.
Editing Studio: Aiiii! Oooooh! *grunt* OH AIKIKO!!!!
Guy on phone: Um…what?
Me: (blushing) Tapes. I need to order tapes.
Editing Studio: AIIIIIII!!!! OOOOOH!!!! *GRUNT* OH AIKIKO!!!!
Guy on phone: What, exactly, is going on over there?
Me: I can't even BEGIN to tell you. Looking for a receptionist, perchance?
Editing Studio: *GRUNT GRUNT GRUNT* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
Me: Please? Rescue me?
Guy on phone: *click*
So it was an adventure. A very dirty, dirty adventure.
I hear you asking. "Miss Banshee. Why are we talking about your old jobs? We couldn't care less if you paid us in golden unicorns."
Well…I might be starting work again. So…keep your fingers crossed, okay? And here's the only hint you get for now: It's at a job I've had before.