Miss Banshee and Common Sense Go For a Drive

Me: READY! Here we go, off to our shrink!
Common Sense: *puts on helmet, mouth guard, holds will in one hand, rosary beads in the other*
Me: You are SO overdramatic.
CS: You are SUCH a bad driver.
Me: AM NOT! I've never even gotten a ticket.
CS: Yes you have.
Me: That was a PARKING ticket. Not the same thing.
CS:  Well, you've never gotten a ticket, but it doesn't mean you haven't deserved one.
Me: That doesn't count.
CS: It most certainly does. I can count at least four times you've been pulled over.
Me: And what didn't I get when I was pulled over?
CS: *sighs* A ticket.
Me: A TICKET. Hahahhahah.
CS: Just because you can turn on the tears doesn't mean you don't deserve retribution. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Me: Exactly why, I ask curiously, do I deserve tickets? Don't you think Jersey cops would give me a ticket if I deserved one?
CS: You deserved a ticket for running that red light. You ran right through that red light. Zoom.
Me: Not my fault. I thought I had the yellow!
CS: You didn't have the yellow.
Me: Well gee, Captain Obvious, thanks for pointing that out. Obviously I didn't have the yellow if I got pulled over.
CS: SEE! You so deserved a ticket.
Me: Nope. I am awesome.
CS: You have some kind of deity on your side, dude.
Me: Yep! The patron saint of CRYING ON CUE.
CS: The patron saint of assholes, you mean.
Me: Well that's just unkind. Put on your seatbelt, we're late.
CS: *puts on seatbelt, adjusts helmet, prays novena*
Me: SO dramatic.

Would you give this face a ticket? THE ANSWER IS NO.
(I am such an asshole.)


Miss Banshee and Common Sense Go For a Drive — 2 Comments

  1. Your common sense is kind of a jerk. 😛
    I’ve had one ticket in my life…and I definitely deservd it. I was doing 82 in a 55. But it was a country road and the only other car in sight was this cop that came over a hill…
    But I’ve been pulled over for tinted windows and for doing 28 in a 15. Ugh…

  2. I’ve actually never gotten a ticket. And never been pulled over. I have gotten a parking ticket before – but it wasn’t my fault! my friend said it was legal to park there over night!

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