Ask Stewie Starring Stewie Part the Fourth!


HI EVERYBUDDY!!! It's time for another ASK STEWIE!!!! I don't know why the Mama use this picture, Stewie think Stewie look a little drunk. DRUNK ON KNOWLEDGE!!!! Okay, time for Stewie to school you hooman beans. Let's hit it!

gabrielle said…

What's up, Stewie!

My mama is so stoopid. She won't get up at dawn! What a lazybones!
And then, when I veeeery gently leap on her face to wake her up, she
gets mad! What's wrong with her? Why is she so stoopid?

Thanks, Dood!

p.s. Here's a stoopid picture my stoopid mama took of me and put on her stoopid blawg. Geez.

Dear Baker:

Okay, Stewie FEEL YOUR PAINS. Stewie have no idea why Mama won't get up with the sun and flowers and little bees, but STEWIE DO! Stewie do all his sleeps during day, so Stewie ready to go when sun come up too! Stewie sorry your mama so STOOPID. This what Stewie do to wake up Mama, cause Stewie SOOOOO SMART.

Stewie hop on bed, walk over Mama's head, and then STARE. Stare daggers at Mama, and say "WAKE UP MAMA, YOU MISS BEST PART OF DAY!!!" Then Mama say bad word and throw Stewie off bed. How rude! So Stewie then go to nightstand, chew a little on lampshade, and keep looking at Mama and say "MAMA! STEWIE CHOOWING ON LAMP!!! But Mama just throw Stewie down again, WHEE! So THEN, Stewie hop back up, and start knocking down things on nightstand, BLAM!!! Then Mama get REALLY mad, and kick gently nudge Stewie out door, and then, Baker, you know what happen?!?!?!?!?! This part SO SAD. Mama shut door! Without Stewie inside!!! So mean! So Stewie do only thing he can.

He barf on floor. You gotta do what you gotta do, right? Right.

So Stewie recommend you start defiantly barfing on floor, maybe on shoe? That good idea, you do dat. Mama get up RIGHT AWAY, YAY!!!

You very handsome cat, you now know what to do, so Stewie go take nap now, cause Mama has barf to clean up, AHAHAHAHAHAHHHA!!!!

That'll learn em. So go forth, Baker! Barf at will! Stewie give your permissions. And gold star for getting hooman beans up at dawn. That good time, right there.



The beatings start…NOW!


Ask Stewie Starring Stewie Part the Fourth! — 4 Comments

  1. Dear Stewie –
    When my mama ignores the alarm on her phone, I go over to the cord connecting it to the wall, and drag it off of her nightstand, so she cannot hit snooze again. Then I go get a plastic bag and chew on it very very loudly and if that doesn’t work, I cry very mournfully, like I have stubbed my toe or something so she will feel bad for me.
    It works good.
    Mac, Alzheimer’s Kitty.

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