Catholic School: The Bus Adventures

"Say, Miss Banshee," I hear you say, "So you went to an all-girls school, eh? How, then, did you ever meet boys? Because when you're a teenager, the only thing of any importance is BOYS BOYS BOYS, so please explain that, thank you very much."

Certainly! We had boys. OH YEAH did we have boys. WHERE did we have boys? Well, we were such a small school that we had to share the buses with the guys' school down the road. So every day at 3:00 we frantically primped and prepped to take the bus over to the boys' school and then transfer WITH THE BOYS, SQUEE to our regular buses and off we went homeward. This is where our burgeoning hormones went absolutely batshit, and we became the slutty broads emotionally developed young women that we were meant to be.

The bus was the only cool part of the day, so when waiting for it, a complete and total transformation had to take place. Makeup was applied (very stealthily, cause we weren't allowed to wear it) skirts were rolled, blouses were unbuttoned, oh MAN did we think we were hott. We weren't, of course, but we THOUGHT we were, and that was the important thing.

So onward to the buses, where we giggled and whispered about OMG he is so cute and did all the things girls do when they're around boys, which amounts to "act the fool" and we had that in spades, bucko, lemme tell you.

Oh, here's an aside: There was one bus driver who I will call Ace, because that's what we called him, who was SO inappropriate as a school bus driver it's not even funny. He was skinny, with mirrored aviators that made him look like a molester, and a stack of "Guns and Ammo" magazine to read when he was waiting for us. We always figured when he wasn't at work that he was passed out somewhere, probably in a crack den. We loved him. MAN I wish he had been my full-time bus driver, that would have been awesome in a "wow, we survived, how grand!" kind of way.

So meet the boys we did, and that sets us up for the next story – the night that began the friendships that I have to this day, or "They make it Like-I-Wanna" which will make sense promptly.

I did not look like this when I took the bus. QUITE the opposite, actually.


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