A new character in the melee! How exciting! And here's what you need to know about The Professor:
He's a professor.
NOW! There's a lot more about The Professor, but that's for another day. What you need to know is that this has all been a set-up so I could tell you this little snippet of conversation from last night, because I am still giggling:
The Professor: Hi! I tried to make a BLT.
The Professor: But I was out of tomato.
Me: That's a problem.
The Professor: So I used red bell pepper.
The Professor: And I was out of lettuce.
Me: Oh lands.
The Professor: So I used spinach.
Me: This isn't even pretending to be a BLT.
The Professor: Yeah, it was more of a BSP.
Me: That's fairly gross, dude.
The Professor: And it was Canadian bacon.
Me: This is a new sandwich. A sandwich of YUCK.
More later, about Catholic school and the bus of hilarity, including the bus driver of shame, who was also extremely awesome, in a death wish kind of way.