You guys want to hear more about my neighbors, don't you? Of course you do. Well, let me give you a rundown of what's been going on, and then we'll get to the real story.
Aw, An Old Man: Still alive!!! Still calls me "Jantelle" which is STILL not my real name! But that's okay, because he's still alive, and bowlegged and old as ever, and still likes talking about death and hanging out at the fire station (?) and Aw, I love him.
The Two A-Holes: Still as A-holish as ever. Stupid yappy A-Hole dogs still bark all day and into the night, and I might think about putting them in a casserole, just a little.
Not-Carrie Bradshaw: I don't see much of Not-Carrie, but she did have her shades open the other night and her boyfriend was wearing a wife-beater and drinking Coors Light. And that's all I need to know about him.
The Woo Girls: I hear the dulcet tones of "Wooooooooo!" every once and a while, but they're not in my back courtyard, which means: Minimal interaction. I've still ordered a flamethrower though, you know, just in case.
Who am I forgetting? OH YOU KNOW! I'm forgetting Frantically Waving Telemundo Family! My best pals, my favorite neighbors. And ooooooooooh, they're grand. Baby Telemundo is one year old now! And Little Telemundo is THREE, and finally we've come to the point of this post.
Me *walks outside, starts to head to car*
Lil' Telemundo: *boogies on his balcony*
Me: Hi, little one! Whatcha got there?
Lil'T: *flings sippy cup off balcony* AHHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!
Me: Well, I asked for that one.
I retrieve the cup and see that Lil' T has ass-bumped down the stairs and is now staring at me.
Me: Hi, buddy! Here's your agua. Don't throw it again, okay?
Lil' T: *smiles devilishly, licks ketchup packet*
Me: That's…um…quite a snack you've got there, pal. You like ketchup?
Lil' T: *opens arms* Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!!!!
Me: My PLEASURE. Surely the ketchup won't be an issue in a wonderful HUG, will it?
Lil' T: *gives wonderful hug and kiss, which makes my geedee day, lemme tell ya. I'm dead serious.*
Me: Awwww, I love you too, little one.
Lil' T: *sqeezes me harder in hug.*
Ketchup Packet: SPLORGH!
Me: Well, I guess I asked for that one. Doesn't matter a bit, honey honey. Now off with you, I'm late and now I have to wash my face and change my shirt, cause I look like a crime victim.
Lil' T: *solemnly waves sippy cup in my face, runs off*
Me: Is it hot or cold water to get ketchup out?
So that's a typical day. How freaking lucky am I?!!? I love that kid, I really do.
But for reals, ketchup? And I hugged him ANYWAY? Foolio.