The Real Signs of Spring

*ring ring!*
Me: Hellooooooooo?
Dude: Is this the Clean Air Company?
Me: Nope!
Dude: But this is the number for the Clean Air Company.
Me: Sorry, dude. This isn't the right number.
Dude: But I need to order filters for my *blah blah blee blah blah*
Me: Not the Clean Air Company.
Dude: But what's the number?
Me: No idea. This is a personal cell phone.
Dude: For the Clean Air Company?
Me: Not even a little.
Dude: What am I supposed to do about my filters?
Me: You can start by getting off my phone. *CLICK*

Dudes? Every day. EVERY DAMN DAY. I've had this number FOREVER, and come spring and summer, these calls are INCESSANT.

What's that? "Change your number, foolio!" you howl? But…people HAVE this number! And then I'd have to tell people that my number was changed and that requires effort, and blah. So that's sign #1 of spring.

Also? People who have religion celebrate stuff this week, so…Happy religious stuff, people! Have a dandy time doing that religious thing! Get your religion ON, dudes. Yeah!

I'll be here. Answering the phone.



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