Actual Conversation: Common Sense and the Blindy Girl

Common Sense: Time for bed.
Me: Five more minutes.
CS: No. You said that two hours ago.
Me: FINE. (goes to bathroom, takes out contacts, reaches for glasses)
CS: Well remembered.
Me: My glasses are in pieces.
CS: I know.
Me: My glasses are in pieces and I don't have my contacts in. How will I get to bed?
CS: There's the rub. You know, you could always put them back in.
Me: But I can't SLEEP with them in! They'll turn into cornflakes. I can do this. I can get to bed.
CS: You need a helmet, seriously.
Me: Okay. Walking to the room.
CS: Careful, dude.
Me: I'm fine. *THUNK* Ow.
CS: You know, you could put the contacts back in and just take them out when you get to the bed.
Me: That's crazy talk. Where would I put them?
CS: *sigh* You take the CASE. You go to the BED. You remove the contacts and put them in the CASE, you put the case on the NIGHTSTAND.
Me: Ah HA! The cat will knock them over, I'll lose them, and then I'll be homebound for life.
CS: You could lock the cat out of the bedroom.
Me: Sorry, I can't hear you.
CS: Why?
Me: I don't have my glasses on. Can't hear you.
CS: Well that's some logic, missy.
Me: Can't hear you. *shuffles into bedroom*
CS: Mind the pile of…
Me: *KERPOW!* AHHHHH!
CS:…laundry.
Me: I landed on the bed! I'm like a GYMNAST. Call Cirque Du Soleil!
CS: Sorry, can't hear you. You don't have your glasses on.
Me: You know, it's conversations like these that make me loathe you.
CS: Feeling's mutual, sugarbritches.


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Actual Conversation: Common Sense and the Blindy Girl — 4 Comments

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