So it has come to this, people. I'm officially trying to quit smoking. I say trying, even though, as Yoda once said "Do or do not, there is no try," because I am not a Jedi, and this shit is HARD, y'all. But as part of my "get healthy for the loveagod, for reals, woman" regimen, I have been cutting down on the smokes.
The sweet, sweet smokes. Wah.
So I have a lot of time on my hands now that I'm not skippering outside to smoke every hour, and that, friends, is the hardest part. So hard! What to DO with myself??? As you know, I tend to get in trouble when I have time on my hands, or at least severely bruised, so I have compiled a list of things I can do instead of sucking down the big brown wind of death. Witness!
- knit, knit, knit like the wind, knit like Madame LaFarge, knit hats and scarves and bags for everyone I know, and some people I don't.
- Sock monsters for EVERYONE!
- Deep conversations with the cats
- Frantically instant message everyone on my list, hoping for a hearty debate about reality television or I dunno, LINT, because I will talk about ANYTHING if it will distract me
- Write blogs about smoking
- Weep uncontrollably
- Lather, rinse, repeat
So the list is a little weak. A lot weak. Okay, I'm totally pathetic and this is SO HARD I don't even have the words, and oh my god, I need a cigarette and I am THISCLOSE to flinging myself on the floor and having a raging temper tantrum that would get the thumbs up from a petulant toddler with an ear infection, and maybe I should just WALLPAPER MYSELF with the nicotine patches or just knock myself out till the cravings stop.
Or I'll just knit the cats some sweaters. And no one wants that.