PEEPLES! PERSONS! HOOMAN BEANS!!!
It's ME, STEWIE!!!
Hooman Beans. Mama SO TIRED. She don't know what to do with self, she so tired from something called a "Play" dat she see so many peeples in their UNDERPANTS, like, WHOA. Dat because she a DRESSER but she don't put dresses on peeple, she put pants. So many PANTS! So Stewie here to make bloggy, YAY!
So you say "Stewie! Mama gone SO MUCH, whatever do you do with self when Mama away? And Stewie say this easy question. Stewie be BAD. SO BAD! Stewie find something when he playing on big sleeping place called EGG CARTON PAD which makes for more comfy sleep during fourteen minutes that Mama get to sleep. Stewie say "this so soft! This so comfy! BETTER EAT IT!!!! So Stewie make big holes in sleeping place. Wanna SEE!?????
Then what to do? Stewie tell you. HE BARF UP SLEEPING PLACE! No DUH! So Mama come home all sleepy and cranky and say "What dis under foot? DIS PUKEY! OH NOES!!!" Then she go to bed, and she say "What wrong with sleepy place? STEWIE EAT!!! Must! Kill! Cat!!!!"
Well dat not very nice, Stewie think.
But Mama don't kill Stewie. NO! Cause Stewie and Lulu-SMELL give her so many LOVES so many LOVES cause they miss Mama so much!
Don't look at me. I don't care at all.
WAIT MINNIT. Lulasmell LIE!! Lulu give SO MANY LOVES! Such a liar Lulu is.
ANYWAY!!! We so bad all the time! Mama CRY at so much bad we do when she away! But we do it out of LOVES. SO MANY LOVES!!!!
And barf. And poo. You know, the best way to give perfect gift.
Bloggy over! Go play!!!!!