If I’m Sick, Can I Quit?

Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
The World: What the holy hell are you doing?
Me: Trying to see my tonsils. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
The World: And why are we looking at your tonsils?
Me: Because something feels weird in my throat. Clearly it's disease.
The World: You do realize that this is…
Me: I DO REALIZE THIS IS RETRIBUTION FOR MAKING FUN OF THE PROF FOR BEING SICK.
The World: No need to shout. But…yep.
Me: My tonsil feels like a marble. Or my GLAND. What the hell gland is it?
The World: People are very tired of listening to you whine about your gland.
Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
The World: Please stop.

*Later*

Me: And now we tape our feet. Covered in duct tape, the feet. No blisters here!
The World: Or…
Me: Shut UP.
The World: Or you could wear better shoes.
Me: Listen. Here's more information than you need.
The World: Please, no. We're actually on our metaphoric knees begging you.
Me: Too late. My feet have skin made of PAPER. I am VERY DELICATE. LIKE A FLOWER.
The World: Or a wuss.
Me: More like a FLOWER.

*Later*

Me: So Kelly Ripa is wearing a bubble skirt.
The World: That's an awful shame.
Me: It's kind of cute.
The World: NO.
Me: It's a cute print of cherries! Adorable!
The World: NO.
Me: How summer-y! How cute!
The World: NO.
Me: Well, I can't afford new clothes anyway.
The World: And thank the little baby Jeebus in the manger for that.
Me: You know, I don't appreciate the world's tone.


Comments

If I’m Sick, Can I Quit? — 3 Comments

  1. I, too, have delicate paper-feet which are very susceptible to blisters. I would really like to be a good runner, but guess who gets blisters EVERY TIME she runs? Oh, it’s me. So I imagine I would be in a similar situation if I were running to and fro 12 hours a day trying to put people’s pants on. I hope you get thru this. You’ll be stronger for it! (So they say…)

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