Fruit Fly: Bzz.
Me: Ahh! What are you doing here?
Fruit Fly: Remember those peaches you were totally gonna eat?
Me: Oh god.
FF: The ones on top of the refrigerator?
Me: Oh no.
FF: The ones that liquified?
Me: OH SHIT.
FF: I'd like to introduce myself and my extended family.
Me: No. NO NO NO NO NO.
FF: Oh yes. We're here, missy, and we're here to stay.
Me: I'll be good goddamned if that's what's going to happen.
FF: Your pathetic warnings do nothing. Bzz.
Me: *runs to kitchen, flings bag of liquified peaches in garbage, swats eleventy million fruit flies, swears blue streak, sprays everything with Febreze, Clorox Wipes counters, swears some more.
FF: That's adorable. You really think we're going anywhere? Here, let cousin George say hello.
Me: AHHHHH! It's on my EYELASHES!!!!!
FF: We're just saying hello, damn, woman.
Me: OUT! Out of my home! OUT, YOU BASTARDS!!!!!
FF: But we just moved in!
Me: Everyone out! It's moving day! *grabs garbage bag, cloud of fruitflies swarm out*
FF: Aw, you found the family reunion! Hey, Dale, what's good in the garbage?
Me: This is disgusting. This is all due to the goddamn humidity. That's it, I'm getting the big guns out.
FF: You're never getting rid of us.
Me: Oh yeah? *flourishes can of RAID*
FF: Um, whatcha got there?
Me: Say goodbye to the family reunion. *SPRAY!*
FF: Nooooooo! Granny!!!!!!
Me: Goodbye, Mr. Fly. Take your pestilence with you. TO HELL. *SPRAY!!!!!*
FF: ACK! COUGH! Granny! I'm coming, granny!!! *thud*
Me: *crouches behind table, Raid at the ready, giving garbage can the hairy eyeball*
Fruit Fly #2: Bzz.
FF#2: My name is Inigo Monflya. You kill my family. Prepare to die.
Fruit Fly: Bzz.