*BAM! BAM BAM BAM!!!*
Me: What in the holy fu-
Me: What are you doing?
Common Sense: Who, me? *BAM!!!*
Me: Yes, you. What in the name of Merlin's boxer briefs are you DOING?
Common Sense: I'm kicking your ass. *BAM*
Me: YES, I can SEE that you're kicking my ass. May I be so bold as to ask WHY you are kicking my ass?
CS: Cause you need to go. *BAM!*
Me: OW! Okay, what? Where do I need to go? Will you STOPPIT?
CS: No. I simply cannot. *BLAMMO!!*
Me: GodDAMMIT, where the hell do I need to go so damn bad?
CS: On. With. Your. Life. GO THERE. *BLAM!*
Me: On…with my life. Yeah, I was trying to avoid that.
CS: I KNOW. That's why *I* am here. To kick your ass back into your life. C'mon.
Me: I don't want to talk about it.
CS: I know. And I know you're sad. Sad as hell. And ANGRY. Furious! Congrats on not smashing all the dishes last night.
Me: Heh. Yeah, I really wanted to do that.
CS: Well, as the one who would have cleaned it up, I'm muy glad you didn't.
Me: Would have been spectacular.
CS: Would have been sharp. You don't do well with sharp. No emergency rooms for you, missy.
Me: Yeah, yeah, the dishes are safe.
CS: Look. You have amazing friends. You have people, dude. People who love you, people who are gonna get you through this. But you have to want it. And if that means I have to kick *BAM!* your white tattooed ass *BLAM!!!* all the way there, so be it. But you're GOING to get through this, and I won't *BAM* hear anything more in the matter.
Me: FINE! Fine. Just…stop KICKING.
CS: Get back to being funny, the internet has had it, Miss Gloom and Doom.
Me: I'm still gonna be sad. AND angry.
CS: That's fine. But you're also gonna get moving. Even if I have to kick you the whole way.
Me: Duly noted.
so many thanks to everyone who left such lovely comments. I love y'all, I really do.