I Left My Underpants in Chicago: The BlogHer Post Part The First

The trip did not start well. My flight was delayed, and when we finally got to Chicago, we had to sit on the runway for 30 minutes because there was lightning and the ground crew wasn't allowed to bring us the fifteen freaking feet to the gate. Bah.

I was a bundle of nerves, of course, because I am…not so great when faced with interacting with other real, live human beings. My eyes bug out, I become mute, and sometimes I trip over gravity and fall down. Not so much with the socializing, Banshee is. But I met up with PooBou, who had EVER so graciously waited for my late ass, and is also very very pretty, and we grabbed the shuttle to the hotel. Right away there were introductions on the shuttle, and I met some lovely ladies whose names I immediately forgot because I SUCK. Anyway, we got to the hotel and I dashed, trying to get to the SocialLuxe party. This, of course, did not happen, as I was unaware that it was in an entirely different building and AW HELLA NAW I wasn't going ANYWHERE except this here hotel or I could get lost entirely and a Chicagoan might eat my brains. Or a zombie. Whichever. Point was, I wasn't goin' noplace else. So here I was, alone, terrified, in my third pair of shoes of the night (for everyone who guffawed at my 2 day, 5 pairs of shoes packing, y'all can just suckit, cause one pair IMMEDIATELY fell apart upon putting them on so haha, good thing I packed an EXTRA PAIR of black heels, yes? Yes. Okay, two extra pairs. Stop looking at me like that.

Point was, I was ALONE. And terrified. And not…so much having an actual ticket to BlogHer. No big ass nametag for me. I was an infiltrator, a mere civilian in the face of Those Who Had Nametags And Could Actually Do Things. I was there for the MamaPop party, and that was all. No panels, no speakers, no nuthin but staring daggers at bloggers I was too shy to say hi to.

And just when I was about to freak with actual tears and everything, I saw her. Y. Yvonne. Joy Unexpected. She was SO pretty and she…recognized me!!! And hugged me!!! And I knew everything was going to be okay. She was also with Lena, my MamaPop colleague and another ridiculously pretty person, and I think I breathed for the first time since I entered Chicago's time zone.

We found the rest of the MamaPoppers as they were coming back from the SocialLuxe party, and I met all the lovely people I didn't meet back in Vegas, and smooshed and hugged everyone, and the rest of the night was a blur of parties and meeting people and OMG SOMEONE ELBOWED AMALAH'S BABY and Snarky Amber finally got un-lost in Chicago and lept into my arms and all was well. Except the elbowing of a BABY. That, folks, was deeply uncool.

I'm tired. Are you tired? Let's take a break. More tomorrow.


I Left My Underpants in Chicago: The BlogHer Post Part The First — 5 Comments

  1. Aw, you are too kind. You’re very very pretty too! Mwah!
    Oh, and you don’t suck because I totally forgot our carpool-mates’ names like as soon as they said them. I kept seeing them all weekend, too. All I could remember was that one of them was from Austin. (Or was it two of them?)
    Meeting Yvonne was a high point of my weekend too. She is Teh Awesomeness.
    Still so happy that I got to meet you! Squee!

  2. My one regret in not making it down to Blogher for the MamaPop party is not meeting you. Which I know sounds creepy and semi-stalkerish, but you are the whole reason I ended up in MamaPop-land (like Lollipop-Land but with taller more awesome people).
    I swear I had a good reason for not making it down and consuming the so aptly named Vengeful Unicorn, but really I regret the shit out of not making it.

  3. Hey! I’m one of the two carpoolmates from Austin! I just found you via MamaPop–I couldn’t remember your name either, but did remember you were one of the MamaPop writers. So anyway, uh, hi, again!

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