Rise, Ya Bastards! RISE!

Me: Wah. It's hot. I'm sweaty. My legs are sweaty, my back is sweaty, ew, my sweat is sweaty!

Cats: *sprawled motionless on floor*

Me: He…llo? Cats? CATS!!! ARE YOU DEAD? DO YOU NEED FIRST AID???

Cats: *stretch, roll over, lie motionless*

Me: Helloooooooooo? Nothing, huh? Too hot to fight? Too hot to eat? How about I put some ice in the bowl, would you like that, mommy's wittle precious angel babies? Hmmmm? OI! CATS!!! Do you LIVE???

Lulu: *opens one eye microscopically, shows a little fang, goes back to sleep*

Stewart: *rolls onto his back, arms and legs akimbo*

Me: I'm bored. I'm bored, cats! So it is time for you to rise up and entertain me! Rise up! Riiiiiiiiiiise.

Cats *faintly snore*

Me: You're missing the best part of the day! C'mon, who wants another popsicle? I know I do! Let's go to the kitchen!

Cats: *flick tails lazily*

Me: Okay, let's play this game. What will make you LEAP up and entertain me? Is it a secret word? Okay, okay, I'm good at this. Kitchen! Food! Bowl! Ice cream! Green olives! Salad dressing!

Cats: *sigh*

Me: Kibble? Popsicle? Leftover bean salad? What, you guys wanna go smoke or something?

Cats: *do not move, not even microscopically*

Me: *cautiously nudges cat with toe*

Stewart: *jiggles*

Me: You need a diet, boy. I almost lost a toe in that blubber.

Cats: *nothing*

Me: *hands on hips, surveying the scene like a CSI unit* It's like the last act of Hamlet with all the bodies strewn around here.

Cats: *crickets chirp, a tumbleweed drifts*

Me: That Hamlet line was my best material, dudes. Nothing? Fine, I'm going to bed. If y'all are gonna nap, so am I.

Cats: *dream of ice cream and salad dressing*

Me: *dreams of central air conditioning*


Comments

Rise, Ya Bastards! RISE! — 4 Comments

  1. Last week (when I was on vacation) it was hot here. So hot I think I melted a few times. When I went back to work and someone asked what I did for my vacation I told them I sat naked in front of the fan. True story. I don’t have air conditioning either. Eck, I feel for you.
    PS: It’s cloudy now and has been sprinkling on and off. I’d share with you if I could 🙂

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