Cat-Sitting The Devil

Me: *thinking* Well, this will be easy. Easy peasy. Go to my neighbor's twice a day for the week and feed her cat. No problem! I happen to feed cats every day in my own home! This is the easiest job in all the lands and seas. Here we go.

Alexander the Great: *SCOWLS*

Me: That's…interesting. Aren't you a pretty cat? You just look so…mean. Why do you look so mean?

Alexander the Great: *PUNCH*

Me: HEY! That was my ankle! *scurries away from cat* I see, you're not such a nice kitty, that's fine, I'm only here for a minute, let me just fix your dinner and scoop your box and I'll be on my way.

Alexander the Great: *stares*

Me: You're making me a little bit nervous, cat.

Alexander the Great: *stares, licks chops*

Me: Oh Em Gee, you're fixin' to bite me, aren't you. You are sitting there, PLOTTING to bite me, aren't you! Listen, Mr. Cat, I know you're a fancy Persian cat and I just have strays, but that does not give you the right to BITE ME, I am but a simple pet-sitter, and look! I did your dinner all fancy like your mama told me to, and your box is spic and span, and there will be no biting on my watch, got it?

Alexander the Great: *stares*

Me: I am SO OUT OF HERE. *flees*

So that's the excitement for the upcoming week, kids. This cat does not like me, and that's just tough tatas, cause we're going to get nice and friendly over the next week, whether he likes it or not. It's the way of the world, Mr. Cat, and so help me, if I need rabies shots because of that little bastard, there will be HELL TO PAY.

Stay tuned to see if my ankles survive the week!


Cat-Sitting The Devil — 6 Comments

  1. I don’t know understand why smooshie face dogs are the greatest thing, but smooshie face cats are so horrible. I love cats…except the smooshie face ones with their eye booger stains and hi-faltuin’ ways.

  2. I’ve had two smooshie face rescue cats (both Himmies) and both were/are awesome. So it must be the rescue factor, not the purebred factor, that makes the difference?

  3. Sounds like my brother’s cat. I love cats, have one of my own, and my friends call me the Cat Whisperer.
    Abby, my brother’s cat, HATES me with a fiery passion. She hisses when I approach her, and will yowl as if to say “GTFO NOW..bitch!”
    She’s an adorable little thing..a gray tabby rescue kitty. I lover her, but she hates me…lol

  4. I got a cat from the shelter once. He was ALL over me at the shelter but the minute I got him home he literally turned his back to me, looked back over his shoulder, and gave me the dirtiest look you can imagine. You wouldn’t think a cat could throw around dirty looks but this one did. No matter what I tried he would have nothing to do with me. Sigh.
    I also am not fond of smooshie faced cats OR dogs.

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