Internet PEEPLES! It is ME, STEWIE! Did you forget about ME? Or have you been weeping and wailing into your hankies and saying "Where oh where is STEWIE a day without him is like the day without SUNSHINE!" Because that's what Stewie is, peeples. A ray of sunshine on a cloudy day.
STEWIE SHOULD BE ON GREETING CARDS! This fantastical idea. So you have event in hooman bean life, yes? And other hooman bean get you a CARD. And on this card is ME, STEWIE! And you open card and it has saying from Stewie. Maybe something like…
STEWIE HAPPY YOU HAVE BABY
But maybe next time you just get cat
Cats don't go to college.
STEWIE HAPPY IT YOUR BIRFDAY
Stewie don't think you look old at all
But Stewie doesn't have his glasses on
STEWIE HAPPY YOU GET MARRIED
Mama not married, though
So Stewie happy for you IN SEKRIT DON'T TELL
STEWIE SO HAPPY YOU BREAK UP WITH BOYFRIEND
Stewie wasn't going to say anything
But dat chump was holding you back
STEWIE CONGRATULATE YOU ON NEW JOB
Maybe now you make lots of money
And send Stewie some, cause Stewie's on the dole
Isn't this bestest idea ever!?! Hooman beans, we have discovered the best idea in whole world. Mama got to get Hallmark on the blower RIGHT NAO. So go outside and play, hooman beans, or you'll miss teh best part of the day!
OKAY BYE LOVE YOU SEND OLIVES!