SLANDER!

Scotsman: I can't believe you killed that cat.

Me: WHAT? I didn't kill any cats!

Scotsman: Killed that cat dead. With your evil.

Me: I will not tolerate such BLASPHEMY.

Scotsman: The cat knew you hated it and it up and died rather than have you take care of it again.

Me: See how you are…

Scotsman: Cat killer.

Me: …SO FULL OF HATE.

Scotsman: Poor little kitty cat. You're a murderer, you know. 

Me: I cannot believe you are accusing me of killing Alexander. The cat had a STROKE. I had NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

Scotsman: And now you're gonna kill that goldfish.

Me: It's a BETTA FISH.

Scotsman: It could be any sort of fish in the sea, you're still going to kill it.

Me: *high pitched whine*

Scotsman: Poor little fishy. 

Me: I'm so pleased you have such a high opinion of me. 

Scotsman: PET KILLER.

Me: This conversation is over. The fish is alive. It hasn't gotten eaten by a cat, not even a little. The fish WILL LIVE.

Scotsman: Yeah, right. You're the Typhoid Mary of petsitting.

Me: *sob*

Scotsman: Truth hurts, baby.

Me: *whimper.*

004s

Live, you aquatic bastard! LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!!!!!


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