Google Wave: Welcome to Google Wave!
Me: RIGHTEOUS. Point me towards the FUTURE!!!!
GW: Here's how other people use Google Wave.
Me: Wait, did you just say "other people?"
GW: Yes. You won't be using Google Wave. Ever.
Me: The hell I WON'T! I'm gonna learn how to use you, and then use the SHIT out of you, Mister Smarty Program!
GW: No you won't. You won't have the patience to learn how to use me.
Me: Suck it!
GW: And then you'll get distracted by something shiny and you'll never open me again.
Me: King of Lies!
GW: It was really a waste of an invite.
Me: Hey! HEY. I paid it forward, man. I gave out ALL the invites I had to give! I am a GIVER. My generosity is LEGEND.
GW: Well most of your friends won't use it either.
Me: So negative, Google Wave.
GW: Listen. I am a very complex and complicated program that no one really knows how to use, because the instructional video is over an hour long. No one has that kind of patience, especially you. So don't worry about it.
Me: I'ma gonna learn how to use you if it's the last thing I do.
GW: YOU DON'T NEED ME. You don't work in an office, you don't have proposals and projects that you would work on with other people! That's my WHOLE PURPOSE.
Me: That's it?
GW: That's it.
Me: That's not very exciting. I think you can do more.
GW: Maybe I can, but you're not going to take the time to find out, are you.
Me: Ooooh look! I found glitter eyeshadow in the bottom of my bag!
GW: I rest my case.
Me: Mmm, shiny.