A Strongly Worded Letter to 2010, and Also An Apology

Um…hi! And…oops! You know when you read a blog, and then it like, GOES AWAY for NO REASON and you decide to A: Fuck it, I didn't want to read your stupid blog anyway, cracker, or B: I will write a STRONGLY WORDED LETTER IN ALL CAPS to express my anger at you and your dumb writer's block and also I don't CARE that it was the holidays and it took all you could do not to end up in the local lunatic asylum, where are the CATS I ask of you and where in the name of Merlin's pants have you BEEN???

Yeah, that kinda happened with this here blog right here. Um, hi? I mean, I'll do better, I promise, no more disappearing and I'll write all the time and PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME I HAVE ABANDONMENT ISSUES.

Sigh. Anyway. I'm sorry. Please take me back?

Everyone is fine, the cats are as evil as ever, etc., etc., I just have a really hard time with holidays. But I broke on through to the other side, beeshes, and here we are in 2010. And I have something to say to 2010. 

Dear 2010:

Alright, let's cut the chatter. I know you've only been around for a few days, but it's freezing cold, and my hair isn't cooperating, and fucking CABLEVISION NJ has taken my beloved FOOD NETWORK off the AIR and if anyone wants to go right ahead and FUCK THEMSELVES directly where it hurts the MOST, it would have to be CABLEVISION who I hate and the whole company can go DIE from ANGRY BEE STINGS like Macauley Culkin in MY GIRL because I need my FOOD NETWORK. GAH!!!

Also my poor daddoo sent me an email this morning BEGGING me to please get up,take a damn shower, Stinky, and run your POOR CAR before the gasoline FREEZES and you are stuck in your apartment until SPRING. 

I see no problem with staying in the apartment till spring, but as we all know, I am batshit insane. 

So that's been 2010 thus far. It has to be, in my opinion, better than 2009 because 2009 sucked like a $5.00 HOOKER, and I'm not even going to get INTO how much it sucked for not only me, but SO many of my friends, and that, dudes, I shall not abide. 

So get yourself in shape, 2010. I want you to just…BE BETTER. Don't SUCK. 

I'm watching you, buster. 


Miss Banshee

PS: Here is a picture of a cat I live with. Let's let 2010 be the year Stewie stops pooping on the floor and Lulu lets me sleep without SLICING MY LIP OPEN with a claw, which may have happened just the other day, making me look like I should be in a LIFETIME MOVIE where I am forced to SET MY HUSBAND ON FIRE, because I look beat the hell up, and I don't even HAVE a husband, come ON.




A Strongly Worded Letter to 2010, and Also An Apology — 8 Comments

  1. All right, girl. that rant was a heck of a lot better than burrowing under the damn blanket! good for you! I wish I had your gift of written gab!
    u no hoo.

  2. I’m with Sarah. I want to stay inside until this snow is gone and there are pretty green things growing up from the ground.
    Don’t go anywhere for so long again, ok?

  3. I’m all for staying inside FOREVER but I suppose THAT’S impossible! I have to tell you I’ll sleep more soundly knowing that Stewie’s keeping an eye on the new year. Heh. Funny, just this morning I was wondering how the kitties were doing.
    BTW I saw your tweet about cutting your bangs. I did that yesterday. Baaaaad idea! Uggg.

  4. Good to see that you are back in action. I was worried but I do not like to pry. Keep the posts a’comin. I think it is awesome that you are growing your hair. It will make for a nice change of pace.
    Personally, I love the winter and the snow (even shoveling). It is a nice contrast to the other seasons. I guess living in Louisiana for 6 years made me realize that there are worse things than the cold (like 95 degrees with 100% humidity for 5 months when you work outside).
    Glad to have you back!!

  5. I do my best to never leave the house ever…but the job, the damn job. And my first and only shower of 2010 happend on…monday! Yup 01/05/10. VIVA LA STANK! and kill that 2009 skank!

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