A One Sided Conversation With James Van Der Beek

My darling friend Larissa made the grave error of informing me that James Van Der Beek, or "Dawson" as you probably remember him, is on Twitter. Coincidentally enough, *I* am ALSO on Twitter! Given my long and sordid history with The Beek, chronicled here in my MamaPop article about him, I felt that it was only right that he and I become Twitter buddies. What has followed has been a one-sided conversation that has taken some pretty disturbing turns. 

So in honor of Valentine's Day, I have decided that I am going to keep "talking" to The Beek on Twitter until he replies with words of adoration. Or any words at all, actually. Or I get the restraining order. Whichever comes first. (probably the restraining order.) 

Let me give you a smattering of the insanity I've been sending him, and please, PLEASE realize that this is all in good fun? I tease because I love. 

missbanshee: Hey. HEY! Hey @vanderjames! It's me! Don't you want to talk to me today?

missbanshee: So @vanderjames, I don't watch #Mercy because that show kinda sucks. But I will watch it for you, James! Anything for you!

missbanshee: I think I'm going to start sending @vanderjames locks of my hair.

missbanshee: Oh @vanderjames, I know you're reading these. Good look with the new haircut, much better than the rotted hay bale you sported on The Creek.

missbanshee: Oooh! I bet @vanderjames knows what happened to Monica Keena's lips, she was on the Creek! Hey, Beek! You there? Collagen FAIL, right?

missbanshee: Good morning, @vanderjames! Did you dream of me last night? I dreamt of you, as I do EVERY night! Kisses!

And on and on and on. I'm really doing this. I'm really harassing a C-list celebrity for my own amusement, and also because I lost a LOT of brain cells playing the Dawson's Creek Drinking Game back in college, and I really can't be held responsible for my actions any more. 

I know that Twitter is a privilege and not a right, and that I'm using it for evil instead of good, but I CAN'T STOP. Every time I see his profile pic and his non-wonky eye is looking right at me? I'm like the jock in high school stuffing the kid in the beret in a locker. Oooh, wait, I have to tweet…

missbanshee: Yo, @vanderjames, I hope you don't mind that I told the internet you wore a beret in college without a hint of irony.

The way I see it is this. He's either going to totally ignore me and hope/pray that I go away (I won't) OR he'll get a damn sense of humor and respond to me. Maybe he's reading this right now! Everyone wave to The Beek!!! 

I DO hope he's not making THIS face:


And just in case you thought I was making this all up, here's proof:


I'm going to prison, aren't I? 


A One Sided Conversation With James Van Der Beek — 5 Comments

  1. You’re too funny. I’ve been watching him on Mercy too. I was just thinking about stopping watching it when he showed up and I thought I’d hang around. He’s amusing.

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