Facebook: Is it the Devil? Or Am I Just Wicked Overdramatic?

Sometimes I wonder if Facebook is good or evil. If it is sent from the heavens or directly from Hades. There are so many factors that go into making that decision, and good gawd damn if I didn't get an angel and a devil arguing their cases to me just the other day.

So I wrote about keeping one's privacy when one is a blogger, yes? Well remembered. WELL. We'll start with the "ow, my heart" story first. In the interest of the people involved, who may or may not be reading this, I will be respectfully discreet. Because I am a big grown up girl, and that kind of karma bites you in the ass more oftentimes than not. So let's just say that someone I have never met contacts me via freaking Facebook, wondering if they (not even using proper pronouns here, so vague am I. MYSTERY!!!!) were the person I was referring to in the privacy post. They weren't, but of COURSE now ALL I CAN DO is think about that stranger and the person we both know that spurred the conversation to begin with, and man, I haven't thought about this person in MONTHS and now this person WILL NOT LEAVE MY BRAINPAN, and it is making me SAD. And MAD. 

I am a person who (tries, I'm far from perfect) not to hold endless grudges or hate in her heart. There are some people I've known in my life that I would eagerly kick in the slats, were I ever to see them again, (a particularly nasty boy I went to college with comes to mind, BOY OH BOY I'd love to kick him right in the nads) but as for people I've had friendships and/or relationships with, I don't hold hate in my heart. I try to remember the times that we spent together that were great, before things fell apart, and let bygones be bygones. Even when they have hurt me terribly, I try to be all zen-like and v. much like a saintly person (STOP LAUGHING) and let it go. Which was what I had done, before this Facebook thing happened. So I would just like to say I hope both the stranger and the person we both know are very happy and have lovely lives and get the hell out of my HEAD because now I'm DWELLING and that is not nice at all for my poor fragile brain.

NOW. On to the NICE story. Someone else, whom we will call Chicky, because that's what I decided to call her, ALSO contacted me the other day after many many years (MANY) of no communication. I had seen her on FB through mutual friends and thought what the hell, I'll send a friend request and see what she's been up to. She didn't respond, and I, being the self-loathing person that I tend to be, thought "well clearly I have slighted her in a terrible way because I am a terrible person and you know all those earthquakes? Go right ahead and blame me for them, because they're probably my fault too, for being such a terrible person." SO!

Fast forward a month or so. Through the GOOD magic of the internet, Chicky started following Mr. Roger Ebert (sir) on Twitter. Mr.Ebert (sir) was kind enough to link to one of my articles here, and Chicky followed the link and found that holy crap, it was her old former pal Miss Banshee. BEHOLD THE POWER OF THE INTERNET. She sent me a lovely email, and now we are happily back in touch and will hopefully see each other soon, cause GIRL we have a LOT to catch up on. So that's the good side of Facebook and the internet in general, yay!

SO. What we're left with is a conundrum. The other day, a situation that has nothing to do with either of the above described scenarios occurred via Facebook (grr) that truly made me feel like I was back in middle school, being the only kid not invited to the birthday party. MAN did I feel shitty. And it wasn't the actual scenario that had me so upset (I rarely leave the house and would have politely and graciously declined anyway) it was the concept that deep down inside, I still feel like the kid who reads a book at recess and doesn't have any friends. Which is ridiculous, I have the most amazing friends in the world, but that little incident made me feel like shit, I'll tell you that much for free. 

What do all these situations have in common? FACEBOOK. Which I used to pink puffy heart, and now not so much, but still a little, and I'm not going to get OFF Facebook or anything, but man, my heart was pulled in a lot of directions by that geedee website this week.

Phew, that was quite the rant. Thanks for sticking with me through that, if you're still here. Are you still here? Hello???? Well, if you're still here, why not GO to Facebook and be my friend on the OFFICIAL INVERSE CANDLELIGHT FACEBOOK PAGE which you can get to by clicking the screenshot below. 

Kisses and butt pinches to all,

Your tiny little internetty pal,

Miss Banshee

Facebooksnip
 


Comments

Facebook: Is it the Devil? Or Am I Just Wicked Overdramatic? — 11 Comments

  1. Sometimes Facebook pisses me off. Like when one of their “Friend Suggestions” is the bully who tortured me all through high school – the guy who called me fat, made fun of my last name, mooed every time I walked within a hundred feet of him, and was basically an all-around asshole. You know what, Facebook? Take that friend suggestion and shove it. I don’t ever want to see that guy’s name (or his smug douchebag face) ever again.
    On the other hand, it also reconnected me with three girls who I’ve been friends with since we were 7 years old, and who I completely lost touch with once we all went our separate ways in college, and I am so, so grateful to have made those connections again.
    So yes. Good & bad, for sure.

  2. Facebook continues to hurt my feelings… I’ll have a couple of good days and then something will destroy me for weeks. It just really sums up all of my problems that I have in general with people – I take things too personally. I *only* know how to either take things personally or sever ties with people. You hurt my feelings? BAM. Dead to me. oh it wasn’t on purpose. don’t I feel stupid. Now I’m embarrassed. So I’ll still avoid you without ever talking through it. sweet. Basically at, (almost) 37 I am still the same insecure girl I was in jr high.

  3. I have joined your fan club lol.I dont use facebook very much as I dont want to be reminded of people from my past who made life oh so shitty.Those are the types that keep wanting to be my friend and send requests!! I didnt want to be their friends then and the years have not changed my mind

  4. Facebook makes me sad when I post something and no one comments or even clicks the stupid like button thingie. Or I comment on someone else’s post and they don’t comment back. I’ll get all bent outta shape about it and feel unloved. Or I’ll post something and then delete it because I think that I am too boring and no one wants to read what I have to say. So, yeah, it’s evil.
    But, I have met some interesting people there. So, it’s not evil that way. But then I have to amuse or post interesting stuff to keep my new friends from unfriending me.
    I am confused now.

  5. Oh, it’s not just Facebook; that’s just the latest incarnation of the Internet. Before that it was forums and before that CompuServe and Prodigy and AOL. Let’s also not forget the “Internet Dating” sites! I’ve got that same love-hate relationship with all of them. I’ve made some wonderful friends through them. I met my business partner in one of the forums. Heck, I found my current husband through the Internet (thank you, Match.com). But I’ve also been stabbed in the back over and over by people I’ve met through the Internet in its various incarnations. I won’t visit the online forums devoted to my favorite avocation (lampworking) anymore because of the rampant hostility I find there.
    Facebook and the rest of the Internet are just tools — it’s how they are used that is good or evil.

  6. So relate. Last summer, I got a friend request from a guy who seriously screwed me up at a teenager. I don’t want to use loaded words here, but let’s just say he treated 15 year old me wrong. When I got notification, I felt like I was going to vomit. I couldn’t sleep. I was just…shaking. What did this mean? I hit ignore and tried so hard to forget about it. 2 weeks later, another request. This time I just blocked.
    When this happened,I also discovered that some people who knew exactly what happened were “friends” with him. Felt so betrayed. I know some people just accept everyone but I can’t help but take it as a personal insult.
    A university roommate who attempted to screw me out of a bunch of money also sent me a friend request. Why? What is this all about, anyway?
    I’ve reconnected with a few people, and I use fb to maintain contact with others (especially since I am phone-phobic in the extreme)but I still feel like it invites a lot of, well, discomfort. Sometimes I feel excluded, sometimes I wonder if statuses are passive-aggressive messages directed toward me. I’m reasonably sure no one gives me any thought, but the paranoia is always there…lurking.
    Sorry for the length of comment. I was going to send you a DM on twitter but you’re not following me yet.

  7. so, without making this comment too much about ME, i just want to say that i TOTALLY sympathize with the whole FB issue. my love/hate with that piece of social networking tends to change from day to day much like others have said above. i used to hide behind the guise of a “joint account” that i had with my fiance’ wherein only my first name was exposed, blocking those evil ne’er-do-wells from my past from finding me and thus somehow crafting my FB life inside of a perfect little anonymous bubble. a year later i broke free, for reasons almost entirely blog related, and now i find myself exposed to the evil scary public, many of whom have hurt me in one way or another in the past.
    my bubble has been burst.
    its been both freeing and terrifying as is so much of what you do when you expose such a large and intimate part of yourself in the webz.
    on the positive, just this morning i got a message from the sister of one of my dearest besties who i have not heard from in going on YEARS now. if she hadn’t contacted me i would still be trying (fruitlessly) to get in touch with my friend.
    so i did make this comment more about ME than i really wanted to BUT i also want to say that from the little that i know about you from what you’ve shared on the web i really feel as tho ive found a kindred spirit in you thru your stories. (and having said that now i sincerly hope i havent crossed some sort of unspoken boundary, i just *like* you, what can i say?) so so SO much of what you say mirrors my own emotions, often overlapping with my own current life-strife.
    so, thanks for being honest and open and you bc that person is pretty darn awesome.

  8. Oh Miss B. I totes felt that awful middle school way when some dorko un-friended me (it’s a word, I tell ya) because they didn’t like my politics. My twin sister also un-friended me, which sucked (she’s uber conservative and religious and I’m a lazy liberal).
    Hugs to the facebook friends drinking hateorade!

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