Sometimes I wonder if Facebook is good or evil. If it is sent from the heavens or directly from Hades. There are so many factors that go into making that decision, and good gawd damn if I didn't get an angel and a devil arguing their cases to me just the other day.
So I wrote about keeping one's privacy when one is a blogger, yes? Well remembered. WELL. We'll start with the "ow, my heart" story first. In the interest of the people involved, who may or may not be reading this, I will be respectfully discreet. Because I am a big grown up girl, and that kind of karma bites you in the ass more oftentimes than not. So let's just say that someone I have never met contacts me via freaking Facebook, wondering if they (not even using proper pronouns here, so vague am I. MYSTERY!!!!) were the person I was referring to in the privacy post. They weren't, but of COURSE now ALL I CAN DO is think about that stranger and the person we both know that spurred the conversation to begin with, and man, I haven't thought about this person in MONTHS and now this person WILL NOT LEAVE MY BRAINPAN, and it is making me SAD. And MAD.
I am a person who (tries, I'm far from perfect) not to hold endless grudges or hate in her heart. There are some people I've known in my life that I would eagerly kick in the slats, were I ever to see them again, (a particularly nasty boy I went to college with comes to mind, BOY OH BOY I'd love to kick him right in the nads) but as for people I've had friendships and/or relationships with, I don't hold hate in my heart. I try to remember the times that we spent together that were great, before things fell apart, and let bygones be bygones. Even when they have hurt me terribly, I try to be all zen-like and v. much like a saintly person (STOP LAUGHING) and let it go. Which was what I had done, before this Facebook thing happened. So I would just like to say I hope both the stranger and the person we both know are very happy and have lovely lives and get the hell out of my HEAD because now I'm DWELLING and that is not nice at all for my poor fragile brain.
NOW. On to the NICE story. Someone else, whom we will call Chicky, because that's what I decided to call her, ALSO contacted me the other day after many many years (MANY) of no communication. I had seen her on FB through mutual friends and thought what the hell, I'll send a friend request and see what she's been up to. She didn't respond, and I, being the self-loathing person that I tend to be, thought "well clearly I have slighted her in a terrible way because I am a terrible person and you know all those earthquakes? Go right ahead and blame me for them, because they're probably my fault too, for being such a terrible person." SO!
Fast forward a month or so. Through the GOOD magic of the internet, Chicky started following Mr. Roger Ebert (sir) on Twitter. Mr.Ebert (sir) was kind enough to link to one of my articles here, and Chicky followed the link and found that holy crap, it was her old former pal Miss Banshee. BEHOLD THE POWER OF THE INTERNET. She sent me a lovely email, and now we are happily back in touch and will hopefully see each other soon, cause GIRL we have a LOT to catch up on. So that's the good side of Facebook and the internet in general, yay!
SO. What we're left with is a conundrum. The other day, a situation that has nothing to do with either of the above described scenarios occurred via Facebook (grr) that truly made me feel like I was back in middle school, being the only kid not invited to the birthday party. MAN did I feel shitty. And it wasn't the actual scenario that had me so upset (I rarely leave the house and would have politely and graciously declined anyway) it was the concept that deep down inside, I still feel like the kid who reads a book at recess and doesn't have any friends. Which is ridiculous, I have the most amazing friends in the world, but that little incident made me feel like shit, I'll tell you that much for free.
What do all these situations have in common? FACEBOOK. Which I used to pink puffy heart, and now not so much, but still a little, and I'm not going to get OFF Facebook or anything, but man, my heart was pulled in a lot of directions by that geedee website this week.
Phew, that was quite the rant. Thanks for sticking with me through that, if you're still here. Are you still here? Hello???? Well, if you're still here, why not GO to Facebook and be my friend on the OFFICIAL INVERSE CANDLELIGHT FACEBOOK PAGE which you can get to by clicking the screenshot below.
Kisses and butt pinches to all,
Your tiny little internetty pal,