Miss Banshee and Danielle In Wonderland

Ah Mah Gah, I didn't write yesterday, allow me to put on my hair shirt and whip myself raw. (hi, google searchers, no, there are no pictures of me whipping myself, you dirty birdies) but seirously, I'm sorry I didn't write yesterday, time just got away from me and well, I forgot. See how serious I am about this grave subject? I mean, LOOK at me.

Very serious. That's how I take blogging every day for you, my beloved, precious little squirrels. 

ANYWAY. On to more important things.

On Saturday, the utterly divine ElleVee and I went to see Tim Burton's "Alice in Wonderland" and I lurved it. I didn't even get up and wander around, dreaming of going home! This is huge for me. Well, I guess I better explain what goes on in my head when it comes to going to the movies. 

*I see a commercial for "Alice" on the teevee*

Me: Oooooooh. Johnny Deppy goody goody Tim Burton weirdness must see it yes yes yes. I shall rent it when it comes out on DVD.

ElleVee: WE MUST GO SEE ALICE THIS WEEKEND YES YES YES. *ElleVee is one of the tiniest people you'll ever meet, but she always speaks in all caps. This is a mystery for the ages. Little body, HUGE personality*

Me: *thinking* NO. No no no. No movie theater. No people. No going out. Absolutely not. But…to see ElleVee is to laugh, and to have this thing called "fun" and you must go, you simply must, she really wants to see that movie and she is small but mighty, and you don't want to upset the teeny tiny mighty girl. Say yes, dammit, say yes. 

Me: Yes! We will go see "Alice" in 3D and all will be lollypops and Johnny Deppy. 

So I agree to go. And spend the next few days panicking. Because that's what I do when I go out, I panic. I brood and panic and think of endless excuses as to why I can't go (fire, flood, cats have ebola, *I* have ebola, I have nothing to wear, I have a headache, I have lost my head entirely and am now headless, etc.etc.etc.) 

My friends know this. They know I'm panicking and they don't care. They are TAKING MISS BANSHEE TO THE MOVIES, DAMMIT. And no amount of crazy is going to stop them. ElleVee is very good at this. Laroux is EXCELLENT at this. Getting me to leave the house! It should be an Olympic sport. 

So I have agreed to go, and go I shall, but Danielle is not going to see "Alice" OH NO, Miss Banshee is going to see "Alice" so the proper armor must be applied.

  • freshly dyed hair
  • full makeup, heavy on the eyes
  • Freddy Krueger sweater
  • bondage pants, short variety
  • knee-length platform *six inch platform* boots

After I backcomb my hair into something out of a Cure video, I am ready to go out. No, that's a lie. Now it is time to pace. Pace pace pace. I'm ready early, of course, so I pace, and fret, and take a Klonopin, because that's what they're THERE FOR, and wait. ElleVee arrives promptly on time, I am waiting on my porch (no one is allowed in the Fortress of Solitude) and off we go. In my boots, I am so large and ElleVee is so tiny, even in heels, that I fear tripping over her at every turn.

We go to the movies. I smile. I'm Miss Banshee, dammit. I see people looking at me. Miss Banshee cares not a whit. Danielle is safe in her tower, still in her jimjams, away from all the people and things and "outside." We see, and love, the movie. 

Danielle gets uncomfortable during the movie. She wants to go home. She NEEDS to go home. The movie is fantastic. Johnny Deppy is exquisite. The 3D does not irritate. Crispin Hellion Glover is…strangely sexy? ALL IS WELL, Miss Banshee tells Danielle. Danielle continues to sulk and pace her tower. She just wants to go home. Miss B tells her to relax and have some popcorn. (there are no diets at the movies) 

The movie ends, and ElleVee and Miss Banshee rejoice. We are vair, vair happy. We make plans to see it again and again. We skipper off to the diner for bad food and good conversation. Danielle stays quiet. 

After dinner, it is time to leave. Danielle has sounded the alarm, and Miss Banshee concurs. It's time to take Danielle home. She's exhausted and frazzled and it has been a long evening full of people and places and things and it's time to crawl out of Wonderland and back to the safety of home. 

ElleVee immediately complies, and takes us home. Kisses, hugs, love yous, and I scamper off to my apartment, tripping over gravity and falling down on the way. Of course I do.

When you're already a hair under 5'7 and wearing 6 inch platform boots, falling down takes a looooooooong time. Just in case you were wondering.

I shake as I put the key in the door, burst inside, greet the cats, and take off my armor, put back on my jimjams and breathe for the first time since we left the diner. I smoke a cigarette and get on Twitter. All is right with the world. Danielle comes out from under the couch, and Miss Banshee can have a much needed rest.

All so I could go to the movies. In case you were wondering. 



Miss Banshee and Danielle In Wonderland — 13 Comments

  1. just so people know I keep Danielle in my pocket when we go to the movies and pet her head periodically.
    and Miss Banshee is v. v. tall

  2. I, too, refer to my apartment as the Fortress of Solitude!
    Congrats on going to the movie. I am infamous for making plans and then backing out at the last second. I sometimes arrive somewhere to do some sort of social thing, actually walk up to the door, and turn around and get back in my car at the last second.
    For my sister’s wedding, I stood in the back of the church for about 5 minutes and then left. No one even knew I was there.
    So yeah, I understand the social anxiety. It’s awesome that you were able to go see the movie!

  3. i am notorious for making really awesomely involved plans, fully intending on actually going thru with them, and then when it comes time to act, i just, can’t.
    it’s like someone locks the front door and swallows the key and i physically cannot leave my little hovel. and by “someone”, im pretty sure that person is me. i am the saboteur so often in my own life, i just get so paranoid that the outside world will swallow me up that i stop before i even get started.
    glad to hear you have someone like ElleVee to push you forward when you just can’t/won’t do it for yourself.
    good for you for choosing the road less travelled, however bumpy bc it certainly sounds like it was worth the ride!

  4. You’re awesome for going to the movies! I adore movies, but have become peculiar in that it has to be the *perfect* theater. (such as the one with the balcony with love seats where you can curl up by yourself or with a friend)
    Anyhoo… I’m sad to admit that I don’t want to see Alice. The makeup scares me. However Mr. Ebert’s review was most excellent and it gave me a great deal of respect for the movie (while I still won’t see it).

  5. Good for you! I don’t have an issue with going to the movies because they are dark and I am not expected to interact with the other people there, and in my area they are not usually crowded except during opening weekend. But going to a social gathering that includes a large percentage of strangers… eep. Assuming I *do* go, I find a place where my back can be to the wall and I often say very, very little. People think I’m aloof or bitchy, when really I’m just scared poo-less.
    I shall go see Alice in a week or two, when it’s less crowded!

  6. Good for you rockstar Banshee and sweet Miss D, I am so very proud of you for being so brave, that took guts

  7. I’m so glad you’re here to tell us we’re not alone…in…you know, wanting to be alone and stuff. And not wanting to go out. I routinely break doctor’s appointments and procrastinate over literally EVERY venture out of the house. I love and relate to terrified Danielle, and wish I too had a Miss Banshee. I used to have a ScrappyCat, but in the last few years she’s gone missing. I still use her email and stuff, though.
    Just…you rock.

  8. Daisybones has a HUGE crush on Crispin Glover, and that whole film is sexy luscious hallucinogenic lollipops and red velvet cake that you eat with your eyes. YUM!!!!
    Also, I love you, and your girls are awesome girls. My Souster used to peel my nightgown off me- it was my cocoon when I was Wraith Girl- and make me go dancing and things. Goddess bless that woman.

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