Just Say YES To Energy Drinks, And End Up Just Like Your Old Pal, Banshee!

*Flings self onto imaginary fainting couch*

I am filled with ennui. 

Not really, I'm just sitting here trying to think of something terribly exciting to talk about on ye olde Blogge today. Were I filled with ennui, I would still be hiding in bed, but no! I am up! And writing! And for some reason, I have VH1 on in the background and they're actually playing music videos.

Music videos. On a music video channel. Hold me, internet, I'm skeered. 

Oh *I* know what I can do. I can tell you about all the excitement of last night. It's amazing, how someone who rarely leaves the house can have a fun Friday night, without doing anything illicit or illegal, and I have my delightful little pal Amber (that's a link to her blog, you should read it, or else? Beatings.) to thank for it. For you see, Amber was in fine form last night, and vair funny and perhaps a TINY BIT intoxicated, and we got on Skype and it was hilarious. You get no details, in case one of us ever wants to run for office of some sort. 

But the real fun was on SPARKLEMOTION, which you should totally join, because we are exceedingly silly there, and all the MamaPop people were posting pictures featuring their vair attractive selves, and also whatever beverage they were consuming at the time, and, well, that's where it got a little dicey for yours truly, for even though I no longer drink of the boozeahol, I DO enjoy a good stimulant from time to time, and let's just let the pictures speak for themselves, shall we?

It started out with this:

Just one! I can have just one energy drink, there's nothing wrong with that, and it's lo-carb, so it's just like drinking water, with no calories and no sugar and PLENTY OF CRACK COCAINE. 

An aside: Yes, that is a ketchup bottle in the background. WHY is there a ketchup bottle in my living room? I like to keep condiments strewn about, you know, in case someone comes to the door with pigs in a blanket. I wouldn't want to be unprepared! You understand, my beloved little squirrels, I know you do. 

Tragically, I, of the addictive personality, can NEVER have "just one" of anything, and I am ashamed to say that I had exactly no shame in not only doing this, but taking a picture FOR POSTERITY.

  I'm embracing them. And yes, they're all empty. Whee!

I have an amazing idea. I think that I should sell out completely and become a spokesperson for Monster Lo Carb Energy drinks, and they can film me sitting alone in my apartment playing on the internet positively VIBRATING with lo-carb energy and that would be their new advertising hook. 

"Buy Monster Lo-Carb Energy Drinks: Fortified with crack cocaine and endorsed by thirty-something year old crazy cat ladies everywhere." 

It's an advertising pitch that CANNOT LOSE.

Okay, my little cabbages, I have a SUPER SECKRIT PROJECT to work on, so I must leave you for now, but never forget that even when I am bouncing like a ping pong ball full of caffeine, I am filled not with ennui, but love for YOU. YES, YOU. 

Now I'm really going, for this blog entry has become entirely too silly. 


PS: This is Amber. She wanted me to put this picture of her from last night up. Isn't she ADORABLE??? Look at those piggytails! (Ok, Amber, I put your cute picture up, PUT THE KNIFE DOWN!!!)



Just Say YES To Energy Drinks, And End Up Just Like Your Old Pal, Banshee! — 5 Comments

  1. I too am addicted to caffeine but in the form of coffee. Sometimes if I am really buzzing and reading stuff online for an extended period my eyes start bouncing around from all of the scrolling. It’s kind of like motion sickness.

  2. My low-carb poison of choice is Diet Coke. I will never take a picture of myself with the number of cans I consume in a day. It would be… sort of embarassing. Like, you’d fear for my kidneys.

  3. I start the day off with coffee,then move to massive amounts of diet Dr.Pepper and after that mmmaaayyybbbeee a new Cease Fire Zero which is basically Diet Pepsi with Lime.Oh yes,at least 1-2 2 Liters a day till I am vibrating.I no longer have kidneys,just little fossilized bean shaped thingys where the kidneys should be

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