Tomorrow's Stewie day, so I decided to finish the NYC trip story today. It's not like anyone reads blogs on the weekends anyway, so I'm totally just writing this for my own entertainment, but that's okay. Onward!
Common Sense: So K was a trooper, and took the piercing well, like the tuff chick she is, and then we were off again.
Me: To the BAR.
The World: OH NOES DRUNKY MC DRUNKERTON WENT TO A BAR!
CS: Calm down, she had me there. All was well.
Me: It's not a big deal anyway.
CS: It really isn't.
Me: So we got a booth and waited for April, Suki and Drew, who were meeting us there. And Gorman bought me a Diet Coke, and he and K had cocktails.
CS: We have something to say about the Diet Coke
Me: Specifically the bartender who was serving the Diet Coke.
CS: We wanted to smack her.
Me: Right in the face.
CS: Because, as any logical voice in your head, like MOI, would tell you, if you're buying rounds upon rounds of drinks for what would end up being six people, if one of those persons is a soberton, she gets the soda FOR FREE.
Me: That should be a rule.
CS: That should be a LAW. AND! AND!!!!!! You're not allowed to be an asshole.
Me: That bartender HATED me.
CS: She really did.
Me: The cute heroin-chic boy one hated me too.
CS: He was so dirty.
Me: His hair was SO greasy. And I bet those hipster glasses with the thick rims weren't even real.
CS: And his jeans were tighter than our leggings.
Me: Still, cute.
CS: But he hated us too. Because you don't tip on a two dollar soda.
Me: You should get to PUNCH PEOPLE in their HIPSTER FACES for a two-dollar soda.
CS: We are usually EXCELLENT tippers.
Me : We really are. We've waitressed. We know it sucks. And when you tend a hipster bar on the Lower East Side in a bar that doesn't even have a sign, you probably don't get the best tips. But still.
CS: Two dollars for a watered down Diet Coke.
Me: ANYWAY. Everyone arrived and we were telling stories and everyone was having a grand time.
CS: Well, almost everyone.
Me: I wasn't having a grand time.
CS: Now let us explain. We were thrilled to be in the company we were in. Totally thrilled. It was great to meet April and Drew, and we haven't seen Suki since forever, so we were really happy about that.
Me: It's just…we're crazy. And the bar was too loud, and there were people looming in the dark, and the music was wicked loud and screamy, and we couldn't HEAR anyone over the noise, and we were getting uncomfortable.
CS: Very uncomfortable.
Me: Wicked uncomfortable. So we decided it was time to go.
CS: Everyone nixed that idea.
Me: And we listened. And stayed. Until 10:45!
CS: AT NIGHT!
Me: That's insanity! So finally at 10:45 it was really beyond time to go, so we hugged everyone and left.
CS: Supposedly to catch the B train.
Me: Yeah, fuck that noise. We're not New Yorkers anymore, and we were tired and scared and so cold, and getting more paranoid by the millisecond, so we spent all our money on a cab.
CS: We USED to be a New Yorker. We walked or took the subway EVERYWHERE.
Me: Back when we were sane.
CS: A LONG TIME AGO.
Me: So we took the cab at approximately seventy million miles an hour back to Penn Station. And…
CS: …missed the NJ Transit train by 5 minutes. Of course we did.
Me: OF COURSE we did. so we had to wait.
CS: With every homeless person in the midtown area. It WAS really cold. But we were all inside. So that was good.
Me: And got home at 1:00.
CS: IN THE MORNING.
Me: It was quite the adventure, one that we shan't be doing again for a long time.
CS: I feel I must step in to explain something. I know what you, the precious little squirrels are thinking. "She just described an evening out with friends in TWO blog posts, when nothing of great importance even HAPPENED? What in the name of Buddha's pants is THAT all about? People do that all the time!"
Me: Not us.
CS: No way. There are WEEKS when we barely leave the house. This was huge. This will take a LONG TIME to recover from.
Me: But we ARE glad we went.
CS: Yes we are. But we won't be doing it again anytime soon.
Me: We'll go in August.
CS: For BlogHer!
Me: And that's the story. Wasn't that THRILLING? Thanks for putting up with this story. I know it's really nothing, but it really was a big deal. To Me. And no one else.
CS: We'll go now.
Me: Yes. Bye! Stewie blog tomorrow!