Due To Insistent Demand: The Ben Stiller Story

DISCLAIMER: To anyone who works with, is related to, or is employed by Ben Stiller: This is a personal account of a situation that occurred over 10 years ago. I am not trying to blaspheme, denounce, or defame Ben Stiller, I am just describing what happened to me. Don't sue, I have NO MONEY WHATSOEVER.

The Ben Stiller thing. You guys sure are persistent. OKAY. I'll say it. I think Ben Stiller is an asshole. I say this from personal experience. I also think he's not funny, I loathe the movies he makes (with the exception of "Keeping The Faith" with Ed Norton and Jenna Elfman, I thought that movie was adorable) and he appears to have the biggest ego a short man could ever have. THIS OPINION IS NOT SHARED BY MANY OTHERS. I get that. But I have a personal story to back me up, so here goes.

Back in the day, around 2000, I was an actress/model living in NYC. I got a call to be an extra in "Zoolander" and since a gig is a gig, I hauled my skinny ass over to Long Island City to spend the day (and night) in an abandoned warehouse, in the cold, in wretched conditions, for sixty lousy bucks. Like I said, a gig was a gig.

Since I have purposely never SEEN the film, I dunno if you can see me or not, but it's the scene at the end at the big fashion show? Where there's a big action scene? I have no idea. I was moved to the front row, which was pretty neat, cause THAT meant I was right next to Milla Jovovich, who is the most gorgeous woman in the world, and she complimented my necklace and I almost up and DIED that was so cool. But we are not here to talk about the lovely Milla, or the very funny Will Ferrell, who improved his lines differently for EVERY TAKE, keeping us laughing as we froze to death, or Owen Wilson's stand-in, who hit on me during a coffee break. We are here to talk about Ben Stiller.

Ben Stiller was a dick. I get that directing and starring in a movie at the same time is a big responsibility, but OH MY GOD all he did was whine. And complain. And throw temper tantrums that made me embarrassed as a fellow human being. Seriously, he whined that the takes were taking too long to set up. He tantrummed that the crew members weren't moving fast enough. He argued. He complained. It was really awkward. Here he was, bundled up in a huge coat while all of the people in the shot shivered with NO coats, drinking coffee and bullying crew members as his very smiley and very blonde wife brought him Starbucks. 

There were no bathrooms, and it was a rotting building, did I mention that? Ah, what we do for art. 

So anyway, that's pretty much it. I don't find him funny and the one time I had a personal experience with him, he was a brat. I'm sure I'll get PLENTY of email and comments telling me I'm totes wrong about him, that he's the bee's knees and up for sainthood and that I made the whole thing up, but why would I do that? That doesn't make any sense. 

For the record, everyone, EVERYONE else on the set was utterly delightful, especially Milla, who I might have a huge girl-crush on. And that's the Ben Stiller story. 



Due To Insistent Demand: The Ben Stiller Story — 18 Comments

  1. Well, I don’t have any personal stories to back up my opinion of Mr. Stiller, but I’ve honestly always gotten a pretty douchey vibe from him. I also don’t find him funny. On screen as a character he tends to annoy the crap out of me. On screen as himself (interviews and such) he pretty much makes me change the channel instantly.
    Glad to hear the other folks were lovely, though. Especially Milla. She’s a good girl-crush to have. đŸ˜€

  2. I lose brain cells when I see his movies, not that I have seen many of them, but I always thought Zoolander had some redeeming bits in it. Mostly in the forms of Will Ferrell (who is genius in that movie), Owen Wilson (yum!), and the sheer volume of cool cameos in it (David Bowie!!!).

  3. It’s too bad you’ve never seen the movie because Zoolander and Keeping the Faith are the only movies of his I like. And not really because of him in either case. But I get why. Also, love Mila, even though she’s nuts. Will look for you the next time I see it!

  4. You know, I don’t think you needed to keep from telling this. You have a valid opinion based on experience, probably shared by many others from that same night. Who cares what others think?

  5. I heard similar things about Ben Stiller from somewhere. I went to a school for a year that generates a lot of Hollywood Assistant Directors of this or that. So I would meet them once in a while until we gradually forgot about each other and they would tell me things like Keanu Reeves does heroin or whatever. (Which does not seem very plausible, so they might not be good sources. But you saw with your own eyes.)
    Anyway, I would totally be like that, if I were directing a movie. It must be hell of stressful. I freak out about screwing up so it is unimaginable to me what it would be like to screw up and then lose millions and have everyone in America write about it and talk about it for months on end.
    What I heard is that he’s crazy neurotic also, so I guess I give him a pass as a totes neurotic person myself.
    (Super neurotic people need a secret handshake. Also, we need a STREET NAME for our drugs. Yes, I’m tweeting that. Yes, I actually tweeted that in the past, when I first joined twitter but no one made up any names. Now people totally would. Cause I’m all popular now and shit.)
    I think temper tantrums and whining do not a terrible person make, in show biz, when you’re creating your art, and whatnot. It’s sort of unseemly and yes, it does stress other people out. But I think the show biz people are kind of used to it or it is part of the culture. It’s more like a mood thing. Maybe I’m wrong. It’s not exactly cool to stress everyone else out with your on-set freak outs. But I guess the bad thing is whether you are one of those guys who DESTROYS people and thinks you are the only person in the world.
    Your standard temper-tantrum thrower is like that. So odds are, he is. But there might be exceptions. I say as a person who has never freaked out in public but who, in private, relates SLIGHTLY and I mean SLIGHTLY to the wire hanger scene in Mommy Dearest.(Except I would never do that to my kid. That kind of thing is saved up for my alone time.)
    I actually saw the movie ‘Greenberg’ and when it was over husband and I were like ‘but that’s a good movie! And we hate that guy!’ (We suddenly couldn’t remember his name.) The guy in the movie was unredeemable in his self-absorption and extreme neurosis. He had not a single redeeming character except that he was human. That was what was interesting about the movie.

  6. The only movies I like of his are the Night at the Museum’s, and it’s generally due to OTHER stuff being funny (Amy Adams!), not him. He’s one of those over-actors that just make me cringe.

  7. So when are you gonna be syndicated? My roomie can hook you up so you can start a comic strip…or something…

  8. I’m not a Ben Stiller fan. But Zoolander is hysterical. As someone who works in fashion….OMFG, it’s just like that. I think most of his other movies are utter crap. And I’m not surprised he’s an asshole in person.
    I have never seen you in Zoolander. But I also never knew to look….

  9. I am NOT a fan. In fact, I can’t stand his movies, and I’ve always had the impression that he is a total douche in real life. Your story confirms it. Ugh.
    I have never seen Zoolander (see above re: disdain for Ben Stiller) but I may have to watch it to look for you! Just that one part, though. Don’t think I could sit through the whole thing.

  10. I find Zoolander hilarious, but not because of Ben Stiller – WIll Ferrell is a genius!
    Anyway, I grew to like Ben Stiller a little when it came out he had bipolar. I have bipolar and I know how hard it can be and it is such a horrible illness that it can be heartening to hear that successful people have it too. So I began to think, “Ok, maybe Ben Stiller isn’t such an dick after all”.

    WRONG!!!! Oh how wrong I was.

    Next thing I am reading an interview where he says that he DOESN’T have bipolar at all – he just thought it would be really hilarious to joke about having it. Because that would be funny.

  11. I’m in the tv industry and i have never met someone who isn’t a jerk. It’s all part of the fun of Film/Television. Do judge a person based on professional etiquette should not be standard issue in my opinion.

  12. I heard Stiller takes blonde chicks to Boogertown in LA where the homeless live. He walks up to some raggedy street motherfucker and make a big show of handing him a 100 dollar bill right in front of the other raggedy street motherfuckers. He runs back to his van with the blondes inside and they watch the fuckers who did not get the hundred beat up the fucker who did. Whoever ends up with the money then enjoys his stinking ass getting kicked. Stiller’s been watching the whole thing so he runs through all those bleeding, groaning, sobbing fuckers to the one who has the money and takes it back. He returns to his car all proud and smiley and the bitches squeal “Oh, Ben! Oh, Ben!” They smoke weed then the broads strip down to their cunts and they finger fuck each other. Ben finger fucks all them and sucks up a wall of stinking blonde cunt. The chicks take turns licking Ben’s famous goddamned asshole! Clean and crispy, the ladies report!

  13. Ben Still seems like a jerk. He can’t act and isn’t funny. why is he case in potentially great movies and then his mere presence ruins them His Dad is funny but Ben sucks, really sucks and should be working at walmart

  14. I know a guy who worked for him who told the same thing you are saying. That guy also worked for Tom Cruise and had a total different story saying Tom was really a nice guy.

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