I am on the WRONG MEDICATION, y'all. I was up for about two hours yesterday morning, and then slept from 11:30 am to 5:30 pm, and woke up stoned as I have ever felt in my life. Right now I am considering going back to bed. I am messed UP. And it's not a fun high, either, which is irritating, yanno? I figure if I'm going to be high as a freaking kite, I should at least enjoy the ride. NOT SO!
It's all because of Zyprexa, a med my doctor put me on last week. It is, to be blunt, an anti-psychotic. My mood swings and paranoia apparently warranted it. An anti-psychotic. Holy shit, that's quite a name to deal with. And I haven't been dealing with it very well. The word keeps ringing through my mind.
It's pretty intense, and I really want to write about it, but, as I mentioned before, I'm stoned as hell. So I'm going to leave this entry be, and come back to it throughout the day, if I'm awake enough, to show y'all what this "anti-psychotic" is making me feel like I am.
Hint: it's the title of this post.
I'm so tired and my typing is for shit. I'll be back later. Don't worry, I'll be fine. I'm just overmedicated. Don't worry, my beloved little squirrels. I just need to get this crap out of my system.
Okay, I'll be back.
11:38 AM: Trying to stay awake. The Dancing With the Stars recap is up from when being this high was a little fun and funny. It is no longer fun or funny. CLICK HERE for the recap, pleez. I worked SO hard on it. Back later.
4:14 PM: Doctor called me back and said to stop the Zyprexa. Doesn't seem concerned in the slightest about any side effects that stopping the med could have. This is grand. He doesn't care in the slightest.
So I slept for most of the morning/afternoon and I still feel stoned as all get out. But the strongest emotion I'm feeling is frustration. Frustration that my mind is in such a fog that I can't get anything done except sleep, frustration that the doctor is putting me on and taking me off meds without any concern as to how it is affecting me. Frustrated that just updating this blog is taking every ounce of concentration I have. My spelling is a joke. I should leave it the way I type it to let you see, but that seems overly dramatic.
This whole thing has me feeling MORE paranoid than ever. Am I acting the fool online? Am I slurring on the phone? Why did he put me on this in the first place? Argh, I'm going back to bed.
10:17 PM: I'm starting to wake up. I am so angry at my meds doc I could scream.