Stewie Say “Hoppy Easter, Everybunny!”

Oh BEANS. You would not believe what the Mama doing today. Let me let you hooman beans in on little secret. Mama? Think she soooooooooooooooo funny. Funniest thing EVER. Well Stewie have something to say about DAT. Mama not so funny. Like when Mama make Stewie's tail talk to him? STEWIE KNOW HIS OWN TAIL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. And Stewie only fall for dat one three or four times before Stewie figure out dat just Mama PRETENDING Stewie's tail is talking. Lulu smack Stewie across face, say something about "preserving feline dignity" WHATEVER DAT MEANS HAHAAHHAHHA and tell Stewie dat just Mama PRETENDING Stewie's tail is talking. Dat Mama. She strangest bean of them all, Stewie tell you dat for free.

So today EASTER! Which Stewie guesses is some kind of bean holiday, Stewie don't concern himself with such thing when there more important thing to do like SLEEP ON A PLASTIC BAG! Oh beans, Stewie love sleeping on a plastic bag. Sometimes Stewie don't even sleep! Just lie there for hours on plastic bag, look around, make sure Mama see. Mama shake head and say Stewie have BRAIN DAMAGE which Stewie guess is troo, I mean, Stewie take plenty of knocks to noggin, DAT FOR SURE. Oh wait, Stewie have something to do.

OKAY BACK! Stewie had to go pee on floor. AND NOW OH BOY. Mama chase Stewie around apartment waving paper towel roll YELLING and THREATING to send Stewie glued to ROCKETSHIP TO MOON, maybe even use STAPLES. Stewie not concerned though. Mama only tap Stewie with paper towel roll and Stewie not scared of rocket ship, Mama tell Stewie at least thrice daily he going to moon, YET TO SEE MOON SUIT YET! Anyway, ahhhh, Stewie feel better now. 

So what Stewie talking about? OH YEAH, Mama INSIST on calling Bean Holiday Easter "HAPPY ZOMBIE DAY!" because she godless heathen who going straight to the BAD HELL, Granny say so yesterday after she read blog. Mama say she first told she going to the bad hell when she was 12 years old, is not new news. So Mama say that dis the day we celebrate first zombie coming out of tomb going "GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH EAT SOME CHOCOLATE!" and Mama just spend day weaseling all the black jellybeans away from other beans, cause those her favorite. 

Dat it! Stewie take nap on plastic bag now. Maybe pee on floor again later. Mama go to Granny's house, try to BEHAVE, MAMA AND NO TALK ABOUT ZOMBIES. You think Mama 14 year old, the way she act. Sheesh.




Stewie Say “Hoppy Easter, Everybunny!” — 2 Comments

  1. hysterical! i love the Stewie posts. i wants a kitty but boyfriend only ever says “maybe…”. and we all know what “maybe” really means… 🙁

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