Little bit of a late start today, my beloved little squirrels, I was up late writing my Dancing With The Stars recap for MamaPop. Oh, you want to read that? Well grand! You can do so by clicking HERE!
Now that that's out of the way, let us speak of other things.
Common Sense: We should talk about the negative comments.
Me: First Amendment.
CS: Your blog! Why allow them?
Me: *shrug* People disagree with me. It's okay.
CS: One dude said a couple months ago that he wouldn't fuck you with Hitler's dick.
Me: That? Was hilarious.
CS: It really was.
Me: I replied. I told him it was the best comment I had ever gotten.
CS: Don't feed the trolls. It's blogging 101!
Me: I couldn't help it with the Hitler's dick thing. That was too damn funny, and you know that comedy wins.
CS: Doesn't win on your Ok Cupid profile.
Me: NO it does not.
CS: We should make it more serious.
Me: Absolutely not. It's who we are!
CS: We're going to die alone.
Me: Probably. But it's still funny, and that's what counts.
CS: Seriously, you ridiculous monkey, you need to change that profile. It makes us sound like a colossal dork.
Me: WE ARE A COLOSSAL DORK. And if Schmokay Lupid wants to keep sending us profiles of Brooklyn hipsters who would rather die in a fire than go to Jersey, we can retaliate with a funny profile. Honestly how many fake-glasses wearing, tight-jeans sporting, ironic haircut-having freaking hipsters can the site swear up and down are perfect for us when we ALL KNOW they never leave their beloved Brooklyn, and we NEVER GO to Brooklyn?
CS: We go to Manhattan when we're not feeling crazy!
Me: Brooklyn hipsters don't go to Manhattan. It gives them a rash.
CS: Freaking hipsters.
Me: They don't like us anyway. It's okay.
CS: No one likes us. We're going to die alone in this apartment and the cats will eat our remains.
Me: NOW who's the overdramatic one? The trolls are gonna get us for that.
CS: Probably. Trolls and hipsters, man. Will we never be free?
Me: It's our lot in life. Shall we fling ourselves on the fainting couch?
CS: Fling away.