So you'd think, after last weekend's debacle, that I would stay far away from the dating site that I realize I named in the last entry, so whatever, it's Ok Cupid, which I chose because of one very important factor, one that set it apart from all the other sites.
It was free.
Seriously, it was free, so I signed up. And I have a profile, and whatever. The last time I used it, I dated The Professor for a long time, so even though both of my experiences ended badly, at least I know you CAN meet someone and actually date them and it can be good, until he cheats on you.
BUT I DIGRESS.
So I'm tooling around on the site last night, taking quizzes and looking at profiles, which is not something I make a habit of, frankly, I get on these kicks wherein I check it every day and update my profile and get into the whole thing for about a week and then I totally abandon it for months at a time. I have a short attention span like that. Also, not much tends to happen, because I am a weirdo with a goofy profile, and guys like blondes who treat them badly.
OOPS I DIGRESSED AGAIN.
Speaking of digressing, I had a fantastic chat with my old friend Gorman last night, wherein we talked dating, and how both of us are 32 and single, the only difference is that he goes on these dates ALL THE TIME and usually it ends up with him getting, well, jiggy with it, and I certainly do not put out on the first date, because I am WHAT, class? A LADY. That's RIGHT. But he has fun doing what he does, and I am dipping my toe into the dating pool, so all is the way it should be. The point is not that he's as he calls it "The Man" when it comes to dating, it's that we've both come to terms with the fact that we're 32 and single. I'm done tearing my hair and flinging myself on the fainting couch because I'm single and not in my 20s anymore, I mean, I dated some REAL WINNERS in my 20s, and I'd like to think that even though I still have the mindset of a TEENAGER sometimes that I've learned my lessons and will not make the same mistakes in my 30s. I have enough to worry about.
Ah yes, the BAGGAGE I carry. It's enough to make the most seasoned dater pause, the crap I have to divulge at SOME point when I meet someone. I mean, do I tell them right off the bat that I'm a big ol' recovering drunk, and bipolar, and CRAZY AS A LOON, or do I let that slide for a bit until we get to know each other a bit? I mean, it's fairly obvious when I meet people at bars and I order a diet coke that I don't drink, and inevitably the question is asked, and I must say that I've gotten mostly good reactions of the "right on" variety or the person panics and apologizes for being in a bar OMG, which I have to diffuse by saying um, HI, it was my idea to come here in the first place, if I was uncomfortable in a bar i wouldn't suggest going to them, all is well, etc etc etc.
I don't think the bipolar thing is as simple. And I can hear some of you yelling DON'T SAY ANYTHING AH MAH GAH THEY WILL FLEE which is totally understandable and the DSM IV is probably not first date reading material, but there's a fine line between "polite conversation on a first date" and "withholding important information." I mean, I don't want to be labeled a LIAR, or be the subject of the date-person using me as fodder for a joke amongst friends about how terrible dating is "And on the third date she dropped the bomb that she was crazy and man, I can't believe I wasted two dates on a loony bird" and AGAIN I can hear you say "if the person flees, he wasn't worth it to begin with" which, YES, you're right, but bipolar is a scary thing to hear about, and carries a pretty ugly and heavy stigma, and let's just say that I am nowhere near date-savvy enough to really know when is the best time to drop that particular bombshell.
Where am I going with all this? I have a date with another dude on Thursday. I'll let you know how it goes. Of course I will.