Pardonez-moi? What is that you say about my health report?
Did I hear you correctly? Am I free and clear from all signs of FELV? No leukemia? None whatsoever? Totally negative test?
Did you hear that, stupid fish? I DON'T HAVE LEUKEMIA. Fit as a fiddle, grand as can be, just…well…Doctor K told me I was "morbidly obese" but OTHER THAN THAT, I'm right as rain! Ha HA! You can't get rid of Queen Lulu! I am HERE, BITCHES. And I'm not going anywhere.
In all seriousness, bipeds, thank you so much for your love and support through these trying days. My human biped food slave doesn't know what she'd do without you. Or ME. She'd be totally lost without ME, so it's a good damn thing I'm just…zaftig. Rubenesque. A curvy lady. Yes, that's it.
Now if I can only get her to reconsider this whole "kitten" thing, we'll be all set. I've never heard the biped food slave have such a stupid idea in my LIFE. Don't worry, I'll bite her every time she mentions it. She can be trained. Oh yes, I've been studying my Pavlovian theory. I'll electrocute the biped in the bathtub before I allow another cat in this apartment. Mark my words.